


As sly as a Kryptonian

by DearDead



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fortress of Solitude, Happy Ending, J'onn needs a break, Kara needs a hug, Love Confessions, Pre-Relationship, Running Away, space dad to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-08-04 01:40:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearDead/pseuds/DearDead
Summary: During the party celebrating the worldnotending, Astra meddles in Kara and Alex's relationship causing Kara to realize her feelings are not quite sisterly.





	1. Awareness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra tries to set Alex up, Kara has unexpected feelings and Winn tries to help

"I would have liked to get to know you if I didn't have to go, Brave One."

Those words get Alex's eyes tingling, emotional at being accepted by Kara's real family. She lowers her head, hoping for the small curtain of hair to hide her light blush. She quickly glances in Kara's direction who is talking animatedly with J'onn and returns her gaze on Astra.

"You're not leaving for a week," she shrugs in suggestion. "I'd like to get to know you too, Kara speaks very highly of you," she says softly, not surprised when the woman lets out a breathless chuckle.

She shakes her head, looking in Kara's direction. "Kara... Kara sees the best in people, even after all I've done; or what I tried to do. She also sees when someone is worth fighting for." She pauses, looking at Alex now. "And she fought to the death for you. I might have lost touch with her for more than a decade, but I can still see she didn't risk her life for the Humans. She did it for you." Her look is steady, no lie coming out of her mouth.

Alex frowns a little, not liking what Kara's aunt was trying to say. "Kara's not selfish," she refutes, shaking her head. "She did it for us, for Earth," she says confidently.

Astra gets a glint in her eyes, quickly it's replaced by a knowing look. "We shall see," she murmurs, glancing back at Kara, still unaware of their conversation.

They are all at the DEO, celebrating the fact that they are still alive after Myriad. Astra is here too, being on their side after leaving Non because she didn't believe in their cause anymore. The showdown has been brutal, Non furious at his wife for abandoning everything they've worked for.   
But Astra knew better now, had her niece back, her family back. It was all that mattered.   
So she actually did the right thing and deserted, joining Kara and the DEO to fight Non.

They eventually won, resulting in Kara still needing to fly Fort Rozz into space and Alex going to save her with her pod.   
Their reunion had been touching, both crying when Kara woke up from her too near-death experience, murmuring soft words into each other's ear.

Now that Kara had rested under the sun lamps with Alex by her side the whole time, and they went downstairs to find everyone waiting for them, wanting to thank them for saving their lives.

It's a small celebration as they didn't plan anything in advance, but everyone was having fun, relief tangible in the air.

As Alex was going to answer to Astra, Kara turns her head sharply towards Alex, looking at her worried. She speeds up to her, by her side before she even gets a word out, leaving a sighing J'onn behind her.

"You okay ?" she asks to Alex, holding her forearm with a little more force than needed.

Alex startles, but isn't scared as she would recognize this touch anywhere. "What ?" she asks confused.

"I heard you heart rate speed up, I thought—" She stops when she realizes she acted automatically, no threat nearby. "Sorry," she mumbles with her crinkle in plain sight, looking a little lost.

Kara's hand still on her arm, Alex grabs Kara's arm, both holding each other's forearm, and pulls her towards a quiet corner. "Hey," she whispers, brushing Kara's hair behind her ear to see her face better. "Look at me," she asks as Kara look above Alex's shoulder with unseeing eyes, nothing but a plain wall behind Alex. "Hey," she repeats a little louder, grabbing Kara's nape of her neck gently, rubbing softly under her ear.

Blinking slowly, Kara comes back gradually to the present. She blinks again, her eyes finding Alex's again and she seems to snap out of it. She inhales sharply, her eyes quickly filling up with tears and Alex panics a little, heart racing as she engulfs Kara into a big, warm, comforting hug that only Alex can give.

Kara silently shakes in Alex's arms, face buried in her neck and Alex can feel the quick breath Kara takes.   
She rubs Kara's back, giving silent reassurance. She doesn't know what happened, but being here for Kara is what matters.   
So she waits until she calms down, calm enough to talk and explain.

Kara sniffs, nose a little red from the crying as she looks at their joined hands between them. "I'm sorry," she says again. "After everything, I'm a little out of it. I heard you heart— I—" She takes a big breath, willing herself to stop crying. "I'm still stuck in my head when you were..." She looks away, the painful memory making it hard to speak.

Alex inhales at the sudden realization. Kara is still looking for danger because she didn't get to wind down after the events, just fly the Kryptonian prison into space, thinking she was going to die. After having fought Alex when she was mind-controlled, after leaving her without saying goodbye. It wasn't surprising coming to the defense of her sister, muscle memory reacting before Kara's brain.

"Kara, sweetie, I think you have PTSD," she announces carefully, not wanting Kara to take it as a sign of weakness. She knows Kryptonians are a proud species and is worried Kara is going to push her away because of it.

Fortunately, Kara is also Human and she accepts the explanation without much resistance. "You—" She scrunches her eyes shut, rubbing her forehead in frustration. "PTSD ? I don't— I wouldn't because I'm not—  _ Why ?"  _ she asks finally, not able to ask anything else.

Alex puts a comforting hand on Kara's cheek, making her look up. "I know you're not Human," she says softly, understanding the unspoken words Kara tried but failed to voice. "You may be physically invulnerable, but it doesn't mean you're immune to the trouble of the mind. Especially after everything that happened. You found out Astra was alive," she began listing. " _ We  _ almost died fighting each other, and the Humanity almost died. Then you—" She had to clear her throat to keep going. "You  _ died.  _ It wasn't for long, but you did, then you weren't. Kara... A lot happened. You suffered a big trauma, and your instincts kicked in." She shrugs, trying to show Kara it wasn't a big deal to react the way she did. "It's nothing bad. It's not like you punched your aunt into the sun," she joked with a smirk, trying to alleviate the tension.

"Astra ?" she asks in surprise, the woman in question tuning her hearing to the conversation automatically. "What does she have to do with this ?"

"Oh, um—" Alex looks a little unsure as to how to answer. She wants to tell the truth, but she doesn't want to tell Kara her heart beat faster because her aunt thought she sacrificed herself for  _ her,  _ and not Earth.

"I told Brave One she needed to meet my second," Astra said from behind Kara, startling them both.

Kara goes next to Alex, looping her arm around Alex's in a possessive gesture. Alex frowns subtly, knowing Astra was covering her tracks, but doesn't know where she's going with this.

"Tan-In ? The man who came with you when you left Non ?" asks Kara in disbelief. Why would Astra want Alex to meet him ?

Astra nods glancing at Alex. "Oh yes, he is quite capable. She does not have a problem with us being Aliens, so I thought she would like to meet him." She makes a show of looking around is if checking no one was listening. "I heard he fancies your Alex," she says with innocent big eyes, as if it was the news of the day and not, you know, Humanity surviving. 

Alex gasps when Kara grips her arm too tight, slapping Kara's hand to ease back. "Kara," she hisses.

Releasing Alex's arm, Kara looks at Alex with wide eyes and her mouth a little agape. Alex looks at Astra in confusion while Astra looks at Kara with a gleeful expression and Kara looks at Alex with a shocked expression, frozen.   
Following Astra's gaze, she sees Kara looking at her. 

"What ?" she asks defensively without knowing why.

Kara keeps staring at her for a few seconds before she crosses her arms, looking directly into Astra's eyes. "Are you setting them up ?" she asks angrily.

Still with an innocent look, Astra shrugs minutely. "Why not ? They are both strong, and brave," she says as she winks at Alex. "Tan-In also likes science as he was in the Science Guild on Krypton before I trained him on Earth. They would go nicely together. And I believe Humans' reproductive organs—"

" _ Astra ! _ " shrieks Kara, face flushed red from the neck up, looking at her with wide eyes.

Alex was looking less embarrassed than Kara, but didn't feel any less flustered. What was Astra's deal ?

Astra raised her hands in a placating gesture, her devilish plans well hidden behind a soft smile. "I do apologize, I forgot Humans are more reserved on this subject than we are. Brave One," she says while looking at a slightly flushed Alex who was looking anywhere but at Kara. "Please follow me, I'll introduce you two."

Alex nods dumbly, any excuse valid to avoid Kara for a bit, just the time to get herself together. It shouldn't make her feel that way, but it did, so she had to go cool off somewhere else, somewhere where Kara wasn't.

She follows Astra on auto-pilot without turning back, missing Kara's scary scowl. They joins a group of people, Kryptonians and Humans alike, and Astra calls out one of them, her voice carrying easily in the wide room, her voice commanding respect and attention. 

A tall man turns around and walks up to them. "General," he bows a little.

"No need for that here," she says gently. "It's all behind us now."

He starts to bow again, catching himself at the last second and straightens immediately, trying to cover up his mistake. But Astra just chuckles when he blushes a little. "Who is this ?" he asks politely as he smiles at Alex.

Astra's smile turns into a smirk and Alex is suddenly not feeling this conversation, preferring going back to an awkward Kara rather than see how this plays out. Still, she stays out of respect for the man that helped them defeat the Kryptonians trying to unleash chaos on Earth.

"This woman here is Alex Danvers, she is working for the DEO."

He bows once the presentation is over in a sign of respect. "Pleasure to meet you Alex Danvers," he greets with an accent on her name she hasn't heard since young Kara.

Once she gets a good look at him, she notices he is objectively attractive. Tall, well-built and the Kryptonians' genetics coming to play made for a handsome man.

"Likewise," she bows a little, feeling awkward as she does it. She doesn't want to be there, she wants to go back to Kara and laugh at how odd the whole conversation with Astra has been.

"Hey," Winn grins at Kara as he walks towards her.

"Hey," Kara mumbles back but eyes still fixed on the situation happening a little further away.

Winn frown, approaching her hesitantly. "Are you okay ?" he asks softly. It's the first time he sees her one on one since her sacrifice of the Human race and he worries she might me still carrying too much on her shoulders. It's too much for one person, Kryptonian or not.

She scoffs, crossing her arms high over her chest and lower lip forwards, obviously sulking. "She thinks she can do whatever she wants, coming between Alex and me," she vents, almost stumping her foot down. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline, surprised Kara was upset about  _ that.  _ She doesn't let him time to talk, and continues her rant. "I mean, she  _ just  _ got there, and she already meddles. Alex doesn't need a  _ boyfriend,"  _ she continues indignantly. "She doesn't have the time ! We're always busy, I don't know— I don't even know why Alex agreed to meet him," she finished a little breathlessly with a full on scowl. 

"Okay," he drawls, not sure where this was coming from. "So... Want to talk ?" he offered. "You can totally complain to me."

Kara makes the effort to tear her eyes off of Alex to look at Winn with a grateful smile. "Sorry," she says a little sheepishly. He shakes his head while shrugging to say he doesn't mind. "It's just—t," she sighs, looking for the words. "Alex and I had such a perfect relationship, then the Red K happened, and mind-control, and Myriad, and Fort Rozz..." she lists as she looks once again at Alex, talking happily with her maybe new boyfriend. "It's such a mess now, we have so much to talk about because we didn't have the time, and now Astra wants her to date some soldier when she already has me," she says without thinking, without realizing it and Winn is now gaping at Kara. "And we barely have time for ourselves as it is without adding some temporary boyfriend who isn't even worth her time and—"

"You guys are  _ dating  _ ?" practically shouts Winn, having found his voice again making several heads snap their way, Kara's being one of them.

"What ? Who ? Alex and this guy ?" she scoffs, shaking her head vehemently. "Nah. Not yet anyway," she grumbles feeling an ugly emotion rise within her.

"Wha—  _ no, _ " he denies confused, "you and Alex !" he clarifies. A little too loudly.

So loudly that Alex actually turns to look at them, shaking her slightly to ask wordlessly what was happening. Kara was looking at Winn and quickly looked at Alex with wide eyes, face white from the confusion and shock. She shakes her head in turn quickly and with too much force to be casual but Alex gives her a suspicious look before slowly getting back to her conversation with Astra and Tan-In reluctantly.

Kara immediately glare at Winn. "What was that ?" she asks, furious. "Are you crazy ?" she whisper shouts at Winn, arms flapping dangerously around.

"Um," he frowns a little lost. He move his head a little backwards while his body goes towards Kara to slowly take her arms in his hands, making her stop moving. "First, let's all relax," he instructs while trying to untangle all of this mess in his head. "Okay," he breathes, mostly to himself as Kara is still watching him like she could fly him into the sun at any minute. "So, my bad, it's just— well, you seemed really possessive," he says hesitantly, not wanting to get thrown through the DEO walls, he knew how sturdy they were. 

Kara just shakes her head at him like she waited for him to make a point. "So ?" Her patience is wearing thin, he can hear it.

He purses his lips, trying to find how to say this. "It's just, it wasn't really possessiveness," he says slowly, watching Kara to see if she catches up.

"I'm not following."

"You, um, you— it looked like you were— maybe, I don't know, jealous ?" he asks more than says, his voice getting weaker as his fear is getting stronger. Objectively he knows Kara won't use violence on him. But the way she's looking at him... He's not so sure anymore. Red K Kara  _ did  _ throw Cat off her own building. It was a low blow thinking about Red K Kara, but right now he wasn't sure she wasn't infected somehow.

"Jeal— Winn ! I mean—" she deflates all of the sudden, all the anger gone and look sadly at her red boots, playing with the edge of her cape. "Maybe a little," she admits. She shrugs morosely. "I got used to having her around all the time since we were kids," she explains. "I'm not sure if I can do this without her."

Oops. He didn't mean to make Kara so sad. "Hey, hey," he says as he hugs her tightly. Alex gives the best hugs, but Winn is a close second. "I didn't mean to say it was bad, I'm sorry," he apologizes. He feels Kara nods against his shoulder as she sniffs. "I'm sorry," he says again tightening his hold.

"I'm sorry," she says back as she lets go, still looking down. "I just worry I'm the only one feeling this strongly about us," she whispers. 

Winn smiles warmly, happy Kara had the guts to confess if only to him. "Don't worry, I'm sure she feels the same," he reassures her. Just as she relaxes again, he drops casually another bomb on her. "You're meant to be together, I saw that since the moment I first saw you two together. It won't be easy going from foster sisters to a romantic relationship, but with th—"

The loudest gasp he ever heard cuts him off and he flinches at the sound, looking directly into the source's wide eyes. Her jaw nearly touching the floor, Kara can't even form one coherent thought as she stares at Winn, looking completely mortified. 

First, her face pales in less than a second, mouth still opened as she's still speechless, then her face turns into a deep bright red from the neck up. Winn worries for a moment that he broke Kara, trying to come closer to give some comfort but quickly realizes his mistake when her eyes brighten, glowing for a moment before her heat-vision accidentally switches on, causing Winn to swiftly move out of the way, ducking with his arms above his head to protect himself. Not that it'd have helped if he did get hit with the laser beams.

There are some yelps during the accident but most of them are agents or soldiers, so they're ready to defend their base and the people in it, guns already drawn. They quickly deflate when they see it's Supergirl that caused the loud racket, a horrified expression on her face.

"Winn !" She's at his side before she ever finishes to say his name, hovering awkwardly around him, not knowing what to do. "I'm so sorry, I didn't— I don't know what—"

"What happened ?" a voice loudly asks, worry clear in the tone. Kara tenses and eyes Winn, trying to silently ask him to keep his mouth  _ shut.  _ Winn weakly nods and watches Alex rushing to him. She kneels next to him and puts her hand on his shoulder. "What happened ?" she repeats, looking between Winn and Kara a few times, waiting for either of them to answer her.

"Nothing !" Kara squeaks, drawing suspicion from Alex that knows her all too well. She takes Winn arm in her hand and easily lifts him up, dusting invisible dirt off his shoulders. "Just a little accident, that's all." The lie makes her tongue taste bad, not helped by the guilt and shame that follow.

Winn, who still is a little stunned from the fear, nods way too quickly, trying too hard to be honest. "Yep, an accident ! We were talking about—" He receives a nudge from Kara making him sway a little. "About stuff, you know, as you do," he stammers while rubbing the spot where Kara nudged him, giving her a dirty look.

But Kara doesn't even look at him, eyes glued on Alex as she thinks about what Winn told her. He was crazy, right ? And what did he mean when he said they were  _ meant to be together  _ and that he  _ knew that from the start  _ ? He must have hit his head somewhere or maybe drank too much or was drugged or— 

"Kara ?" Alex startles her from her inner turmoil, confusion clear on her face. 

She looks around, seeing everyone return to their conversation like nothing happened, like she didn't just almost fry her best friend because he said something weird. She gulps, and braces herself to face Alex, her  _ sister.  _ Her face that paled when she realized she let her heat vision go free goes back to bright red up to her hairline, ears burning. "Um—" she gulps, trying to form actual words. 

Winn looks at them and see that he's not a priority  _ at all  _ despite being almost fried to death, a thought that makes him smile because he realizes Kara will always be Alex's priority, no matter what.

Alex is getting a little antsy at being kept out of the loop, it usually never happens with Kara, quite the opposite. Normally, people didn't know what Alex and Kara were talking about, not the contrary and, it irked her the positions were reversed. "Kara—"

Kara groans, interrupting what was going to be a long tirade from Alex, turning subtly her head to her left. Alex interprets Kara's groan for annoyance at Alex's reaction and she crosses her arms, now angry. "Astra," grumbles lowly Kara, looking far more than annoyed, all awkwardness from earlier forgotten. 

Winn and Alex, two Humans with average hearing, turn their heads to the direction where Kara was glaring and saw that Astra was trying to make her way to them. She was trying to avoid touching people because it was disrespectful on Krypton and it slowed her down. 

Alex sighs, not ready to go back to Tan-In and continue their less than interesting conversation.

Winn looks at both of them, determining that they both wanted nothing less than talk to Astra at this moment, so he takes a decision. He grabs them both by the wrist and pull them into a long hallway, ignoring their protests with just a  _ shush.  _ They follow him quietly, annoyed by the way he doesn't explain anything, but if that helps them get away from Astra then who were they to complain ?

He stops in front of a robust door which had a touchscreen control panel next to it. Because of their confusion, the two women didn't see him type a series of numbers as they just looked at each other, wondering where he was taking them. After a  _ beep  _ he shoved them into an empty room by their shoulders and they stumble into the room. "That's the best place to avoid a Kryptonian," he finally explains with a smirk. Then he turns back to being serious. "And  _ talk,"  _ he commends meaningfully, staring at Kara.

Her eyes go wide as she realizes what he means, but before she can do anything he closes the door with a loud  _ clang _  followed by another  _ beep.  _ She stops breathing as she looks around and recognizes the dimly lit room. It's not any room, it’s the one especially designed to keep a Kryptonian inside with no way out.

She squints at the door, trying to see outside but it's a lead-lined steel door so she gives up, banging on the door with her fist. "Winn ! Stop this !" she shouts, tone mixed with anger and desperation.

"Sorry," come the muffled answer from the other side of the door, sounding anything but sorry. "Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do." She can imagine clearly Winn shrugging, obviously proud of him for pulling this little stunt.

Kara groans, mortification making it hard to keep her calm and remember she wasn't alone in the room. She hits the door one last time in a weak attempt to make Winn see reason, knowing full well he made his decision. Plus, he must be scared of her reaction and isn't looking forward to opening the door to let an angry Kryptonian out. "Winn !" she sighs, letting her fist unclench, palm on the door. "Come on, let us out. I know you don't want to find out how fast I can be with you in my arms," she warns, threat loud and clear.

She hears him muttering to himself as his resolve falters, but a beat later she hears him take a deep breath. "Whatever," he tries to say nonchalantly. "I can be collateral damage, I don't mind," he states with little resolve. He clears his throat. "Anyway, I'm gonna take a walk while you two...  _ talk,"  _ he says significantly and she hears him walk away, his footsteps resonating in the hallway.

She sighs, letting her head rest on the door with a  _ thump,  _ resigned to her fate.

"You don't seem particularly happy to be stuck with me," comments Alex, a look between hurt and suspicion piercing into Kara's back of her head.

Kara straightens, muscles tensing as she remembers that she's not alone. She slowly turns, back to the door so she can face Alex. She reaches out to fidget with her glasses but she's still Supergirl and let her hand drop at her side. Alex eye's squint at the action, surprised that Kara was suddenly feeling awkward. 

"I'm not  _ not  _ happy to be stuck with you," Kara defends, look drifting around the room as she tries to avoid Alex's eyes.

Alex scoffs. "Sure, you're not uncomfortable right now," she deadpans gesturing to Kara's hands that were clutched tightly together.

Kara blushes at that and drops her hands. While in her suit she can't play with her sleeves so she settles on her cape, taking the edge before letting it go too. She sighs and paces, walking deeper into the room. It's the first time that she's in here because she didn't have to before, and because it makes her lose her powers.  _ Special Kryptonian room  _ J'onn had called it. It was just in case, after they found out there were Kryptonians on Fort Rozz. 

She looks down at her hands, rubbing her left palm with her right thumb. "It feels weird," she notes. "All of these feelings, I never had them before," she murmurs. She's talking about not having her powers and the new foreign things she feels for Alex, but Alex doesn't know that.

She only hears Alex coming closer when she's already at arm’s length and startles Kara a little. 

"Sorry," whispers Alex, concern written all over her face. She slowly takes Kara's hands in her own, giving Kara time to acclimate to the feeling and to retreat if she chooses to. She watches closely Kara's face for any discomfort but only sees her staring at their hands with interest, as if she was discovering the sense of touch. Which she actually was. "Is this okay ?" asks Alex, not wanting to do something that Kara wouldn't like.

"Yeah," she whispers, eyes still glued to their joined hands. She experimentally turns them over, taking Alex's hands in her own this time. She touches every joints, every line and scar Alex had, focused on the feeling. 

Even if they are rough and scarred, Alex's hands are soft and pliable, following Kara's every movement, shifting under Kara's silent directions.   
They are quiet for a moment as Kara learns how Alex really feels like, how they are when Kara's skin isn't impenetrable.

After a while, Alex dares to rub her thumb on Kara's knuckles, a soft smile on her face as Kara's eyes widen just a bit at the still foreign sensation. "How do you feel ?" she asks quietly. 

Kara stays silent for a few beats. "I'm not sure," she answers, chuckling a little at the weirdness of the situation. "Different. Not better or worse, just... Different."

Alex hums with an understanding expression, not surprised. With her powers, Kara essentially didn't feel anything, or only the tenth of what Human felt, so suddenly feeling things would be odd and foreign. She squeezes Kara's hands just a little so she can feel the pressure but not too much. "Want to tell me what that was about before ?" she tries again. 

She feels Kara's hands flinch slightly between her own and frowns, now worried it might be important and not some stupid reason Kara was always shy about.   
Kara retreats, hands slipping away from Alex's and shrugs, crossing her arms as she looks away, stance clearly defensive.   
Automatically, Alex mimics Kara's pose.

As Alex says nothing more, Kara shrugs again. "Nothing," she lies.

"Kara," Alex scoffs, throwing up her hands in disbelief. "Come on !"

"Alex, just—" She turns around, walking away from Alex.

Alex lets out a humorless laugh and follows her. "You can't honestly think you can avoid me in this room."

"I can try," Kara says childishly over her shoulder.

The room formed a circle so Alex just rolls her eyes and quickly backtracks, trying to join Kara by the front.   
It works better than she hoped because Kara had quickened her pace and is now close, brows furrowed and eyes glued to the floor. 

She knows her hearing is not as powerful as usual so she calls her name as to not scare her too much.    
Kara trips a little when she hears her name, expecting to hear it from behind her. " _ Fine !"  _ she grumbles, full on pouting. "I don't want to tell you because I  _ don't know,  _ okay ?"

Alex is taken aback to say the least, not prepared to Kara's outburst the slightest. "Wha— Well you can always talk to me, you know ?" says back Alex angrily, hurt that Kara preferred to keep this to herself.

"I don't know what you want me to say Alex," Kara huffs, frustrating by her inability to put words on what she was feeling.

Alex deflates when she sees Kara's misty eyes, seeing that Kara wasn't just stubborn but confused. "Hey," she calls out softly, getting closer to her sister. "Hey, I'm sorry," she says as she rubs her arm in a comforting gesture, trying to calm her down.

Kara startles at the touch at first, still surprised that she can feel so much, but quickly relaxes into the pressure. "No, I'm— I'm sorry, I'm a little, I don't know," she says with brows furrowed as she shakes her head.

Alex watches her for a moment then takes her hand. "You know you can talk to me, right ?" she asks again but gently this time, offering rather than accusing her. "Even if you don't know, you can always try to explain. If you want."

Kara looks down at their join hands, letting the feeling of Alex's skin on hers warm her body, her heart. She also realizes that her body temperature dropped when they came in the room, no longer having her powers making her body run hot. She feels Alex's warmth through her colder skin, relaxing her.

"I know," she answers with a small but genuine smile.

Alex smiles back and it quickly turns into a smirk. "Good, because I don't want to chase after you, even if I'm pretty sure I'm faster than you now," she teases, bumping her shoulder into Kara's.

Feeling her cheeks grow hot, Kara lowers her head with a breathless chuckle, embarrassed by her childish behavior. "Noted," she mumbles, her face getting redder when she feels Alex's breath on her neck when she gets closer to give her a one-armed hug.

"Good !" repeats Alex, hugging Kara just a little tighter before letting go. "So, wanna try to explain ?" She waits as Kara tries to find the words, fumbling but ultimately not saying anything that makes sense. "Okay, want me to ask you questions ?" she offers. "Might help you."

Kara wordlessly nods and Alex tugs her by the hand to make them sit on the bench next to the entrance as they rounded the whole room earlier, Alex chasing Kara while she tried to escape her.

Kara sits, hands on her thighs as she stands straight, the tension back in her muscles. Alex purses her lips at Kara's position but takes her place next to her, right leg bent under her so she could face properly Kara, giving her all of her attention. 

"So," she says as she puts her own hands on her thighs like Kara, waiting for the right moment to close the distance without risking Kara closing off again. She thinks for a beat, wondering what could have had Kara react this way. "Was it about Astra ?"

She's rewarded by a clear reaction from Kara, a surprisingly negative one because Kara scoffs and crosses her arms, letting herself slump on the bench, her back now against the wall. She waits patiently for Kara to say something, arches her eyebrow when Kara glances at her to prompt her to elaborate. 

Kara sighs, still irritated by Astra's earlier actions. "Yeah," she grumbles, visibly annoyed. 

"Okay..." drawls Alex, surprised by her answer. "Is it because you thought something happened when my heart rate..." she trails off, letting Kara fill in the blanks.

"No," answers certainly Kara, leaving to space for doubt.

"Okay," nods Alex. "So, was it something that happened after that ?" She thought it was, but couldn't pinpoint exactly which moment, as many of them were awkward and weird.

Kara lets out a noncommittal answer but nods, letting Alex know that she was right. "Is it... Tan-Il ?" she asks hesitantly, not sure why it'd embarrass her. She guessed it was because she was never really comfortable talking about her dating life.

Kara didn't disappoint in her reaction, fingers clenching her arms as she scowls at nothing in front of her. She says nothing but her reaction says everything. Alex takes it as a  _ yes  _ and scoots closer, trying to do something, anything.   
She runs her fingers on Kara's closest hand, still gripping her own arm, to relax her. She keeps her eyes on her face, watching her emotions and anything that could indicate how she was presently feeling. 

After a moment, Kara relaxes little by little her hands, slowly releasing her now aching arm as she forgot she could actually  _ feel  _ here. She keeps scowling though, the feeling of jealousy still very fresh in her mind as well as her anger toward Astra and her little pet soldier. 

"Talk to me ?" she asks in a whisper, suddenly nervous about what Kara might have to say.

Kara drops her scowl for a more vulnerable look, looking at her lap while biting her lower lip. She tries to muster her courage to say what she wants,  _ needs  _ to say because she doesn't want any more lies between them. Just because she's a little shy about her possessiveness of Alex doesn't mean Alex's not going to take it well.

She shrugs as she gets ready to talk, trying to look nonchalant. "I just— I thought we needed time to ourselves, and if you go and get a boyfriend then we won't have th—"

"Boyfriend ?" Alex cuts off Kara, incredulity in her voice so obvious that Kara relaxes instantly on reflex.

Kara looks up at Alex, frowning in confusion. "Well, yeah... Astra said that he liked you and liked science and was a soldier and—"

" _ Kara,  _ that doesn't mean I'm going to actually go out with him," she laughs in disbelief. "What, you think just because your aunt wants us together I'm just gonna go with it ?" she asks a little hurt as she thought Kara knew her better than that even if they didn't talk about their boyfriends when they had one. 

"No !" shouts Kara with wide eyes, horrified at the prospect of Alex thinking Kara thought she was easy or something. Alex flinches at the volume and Kara makes a grimace. "Sorry," she apologizes with pink cheeks. "I just— I don't know, I thought you'd want to, you know—" She rubs her forehead in frustration. "You know," she tries again. "Date someone worthy ?" She glances at Alex who is watching her with a unreadable expression. "Not because he's Kryptonian !" she hurries to add. "But you know, he's smarter than Humans, but probably on par with you though, and he understands what it's like to fight on a battlefield," she lists, somehow trying to find reasons why Alex  _ should _  date him. "And he followed Astra here, actually deserting, means he must be loyal, someone you can trust and he has Kryptonian genetics," she digresses, realizing she lost her point during all of her rambling.

Alex's laugh cuts her off, loud and warm. "Kara," she says as she smiles lovingly at her. "You're all of those things too, and we're not dating," she says as she chuckles but feels a foreign emotion eating at her suddenly, making her squirm uncomfortably. 

Kara forces out a laugh, burying her new but very real feelings inside and trying not to choke on the hurt she feels that closed her airway. "Yeah," she croaks, looking away. 

After a beat, Alex stop chuckling and frowns. "That doesn't explain why you were angry though," she remarks, making Kara tense again. 

She shifts awkwardly on her seat, then sighs as she resigns herself to tell Alex everything. Better sooner rather than later with her. "I just— I didn't want to share," she admits in barely more than a whisper, making it difficult for Alex to hear. But she did.

"Share," she repeats, eyebrows raised. 

Hiding her face in her hands, elbows on her thighs, Kara gives up. "I didn't want to share you because I wanted to spend as much time as possible with you," came the muffled reply. "Because I love you. Also, he's not good enough for you," she states strongly, though her face is still hidden behind her hands.

Alex doesn't know how to react and doesn't say anything for a moment, processing. She lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, feeling suddenly drained. "Well, that's..." She gulps, not knowing what to say. 

She knew Kara was quite possessive, as was she, but she didn't think she would come out right and say it this bluntly, saying she didn't want to share her. 

"Say something," whispers Kara, still hidden from Alex. "I can't hear your heartbeat."

Alex straightens, determined to be strong and not let her anxiety and confusion in the way of her being there for Kara. "Well, I mean, it's okay," she says softly.

Kara peeks between her fingers, trying to gauge Alex's emotions. When all she sees is her openness she drops her hands on her lap. "Is it ? You're not... creeped out ?" she asks, fear and something else written all over her face.

"Creeped out ? Kara, it's okay to want to keep loved ones close to us," she reassures, putting her hand on Kara's thigh.

"That's—" Kara frowns, glancing at Alex's hand on her thigh, not sure she got her message across now. "What do you think I meant ?" she asks tentatively.

It's Alex's turn to frown now, not following. "Well, you wanted to spend more time with me ?" Kara nods slowly, still on guard. "And I get it, wanting to keep family close after everything we've been through," she says, sure she's soothing Kara's anxiety. 

But it does the opposite as Kara realizes she's been misunderstood. She doesn't know if she should let it go or insist, make Alex understand just how much she loves her and how she'd like her to become her family as something else than a sister. 

She might have just realized what she felt for Alex but that didn't mean it wasn't real or serious. She's never been so sure about anything in her life.   
She loved Alex,  _ loved  _ her, so much. More than anything, and she wanted her to know, Alex deserved to know.   
For all the things that happened to them, honesty was still something that held them together, made them stronger.

Kara decides that she's going to tell Alex, right here, right now. She takes a big breath, eyes fixed on her hands laying on her lap. She can hear her heart beating loudly in her ears even though she can't hear Alex's. It makes her falter, knowing she won't be able to immediately hear how Alex is going to react, knowing every noise she makes and why.

Alex waits patiently next to her, hand still on Kara's thigh in a quiet reassurance as she watches her take slow breaths. She sees her lower lip quiver before Kara takes it between her teeth to stop it from trembling. She squeezes Kara's thigh, a reassuring gesture, but it only makes Kara tense. Tense because of the foreign touch, tense in anticipation of what she was getting ready to say, tense about her feelings. It was a lot to take in.

Alex takes her hand back on her own lap, feeling distressed about Kara's state, new to her, not knowing what to do. "Kara..." she whispers brokenly, searching for the right thing to say, the right thing to do to help her sister somehow.

Kara raises a hand, a sign that tells Alex she's getting there, that she just needs a little moment and plays with her skirt.   
Finally, she takes a long, deep breath before speaking. "I love you."

Alex hurries to comfort her. "I love you too Kara, you can tell me anything. What it is ?" She takes Kara's hand in hers. 

A loud laugh startles Alex and she frowns, now completely confused. Had Kara lost it ?

"Sorry," Kara chuckles. "It's the nerves, sorry," she apologizes again as she tries to keep it together long enough to say what she had to say. "Okay," she sighs. "I'm, um—"

She gets up suddenly, as if the bench burned her, and starts pacing in front of Alex. Her hands cold now that Kara's left hers, Alex straightens and waits for Kara to speak, to finally explains. She's expecting the worst given her behavior, and she's so worried that she's going to tell her she wants to live with Astra or something.   
Granted, they don't live together, but they might as well be with all the nights Alex spends at Kara's. And she knows if Kara lives with someone else, then their sisters' nights would greatly reduce and she doesn't want that.

Except, she does want that if Kara does. She just wants her to be happy.    
So she forces herself to relax, ready to give Kara her support to anything she might have to say.

"Just tell me Kara," she says with a clear voice, ready.

Kara almost stumbles, her steps faltering at Alex's steady voice. She doesn't want to lose that, lose Alex's assured and confident self. And she was pretty sure she would if Alex rejected her, because things would be awkward between them. 

She scrunches her eyes shut, her thumb rubbing her other palm hard, almost making it burn with the strength of it. She exhales loudly and starts pacing again.

"I didn't know," she begins, a plea in her voice as if she begged Alex to understand. "I didn't know," she repeats in a whisper. She shakes her head. "I just— I thought it was normal, you know ? I arrived here and you were there. Even at first when you didn't like me, you were there." She stops, looking into Alex's warm eyes. "You're always there." Alex gulps, feeling her heart beating loudly in her chest but not knowing why, and she's relieved Kara can't hear it if she can't explain why it does that. Kara smiles then, though a little sadly and melancholically. "You've always been there, and I didn't notice."

"I— Of course I'm here," Alex answers, now on the edge of the bench like she was ready to jump in and hug Kara to erase the sad look on her face. "Did I— What's—" She stops, not knowing what to ask. "Tell me," she demands again, a little more forcefully now.

Kara continues to stare at Alex, looking deep into her eyes as if trying to look for an answer. After a moment she breaks the eye contact and looks away, eyes locked on something on the wall. She doesn't fidget now, isn't awkward or rambling. Right now she's more Kara Zor-El than Kara Danvers or Supergirl.   
She channels her strength and courage, her love and adoration for Alex into her next words.

"I love you, Alex," she says again as she looks back at her, her gaze strong and determined. Alex opens her mouth to speak, a look of confusion still obvious on her face, but Kara cuts her off, bent on telling her everything now, before she loses her nerves. "More than a sister should," she clarifies. "I shouldn't, but I do. I didn't see it before, but I do now, and I'm not going to lie to you."

She waits a few seconds, watching Alex staring at her with wide, unblinking eyes. She stares at her as if she just discovered that she was an Alien, like it was something impossible.

Kara can't hear her heartbeat, but she can certainly hear her breathing, now too spaced, too short. "Kara—"

But Kara interrupts her again. She just waited for the information to sink in before she continued to explain. "Please, just— let me talk." Alex just keeps watching her and, after a silent moment, must realize Kara said something and uncertainly nods. "Thank you," she says softly. She holds her hand in her other hand, thumb on her palm but, this time, she rubs it gently, almost unconsciously as she starts speaking. "I thought it would always be you and me, you know, against the world. That nothing would ever come between us, or no one," she smiles, but it's bitter and Alex feels a shiver run down her spine. The reality starts to take hold, she slowly comes back to the present and hears what Kara is saying, truly hears and understands it now. "I was wrong," she continues and lifts her head to look at Alex again, needing to say it while looking at her. Her sister. Her best friend. Her confidant. Her family. 

"Kara..." This time it's a whisper. She doesn't want to talk because she doesn't know what to say. She gulps loudly. 

"It's okay," murmurs Kara, looking back at her hands while shaking her head. "You have the right to have you own life, of course you do. And I don't want to hold you back any further than I already have, I don't— I don't want to make you feel like you have to stay with me all the time, just because you feel like you  _ have to _ ," she explains with pleading eyes. 

"I don't," Alex says quickly, knowing Kara wasn't done talking but needed to say this. 

She shrugs, not really believing her. "You may think you're doing this willingly Alex, but Eliza..." She sighs. "That's in you now, you were conditioned to take care of me," she says sadly, shrugging again to try to hide her pain. "And I never said anything, never told you I didn't need a babysitter because I was selfish, because I wanted you by my side all the time," she admits, voice quiet now.

"Kara, no," Alex says forcefully as she gets up and walks towards Kara, ready to hug her. 

But Kara raises her hands, stopping Alex in her tracks, and takes a step backward before turning her back to her. "Don't— Don't deny it, please. And I was—  _ am  _ selfish. I won't deny it either. I just want to be honest with each other, but also with ourselves."

Hugging herself to stop from reaching out, Alex scowls at the floor. "Fine," she snaps. "If you want to be honest, then you could at least face me."

Kara flinches at the bite in Alex's voice and slowly turns back, but keeps her eyes glued to the floor. Alex stands there, watching Kara munching anxiously at her lip, fidgeting with her fingers, and her anger fades away.   
She thinks she got angry because the situation didn't feel real. It still doesn't.

"Kara, look at me," she asks gently, not moving toward her even if she wants to. She stays put, waiting for Kara to be ready. She can see she's hesitant at first, keeping her head down, hidden by her long hair. After a beat though, she slowly raises her head, eyes still looking down, then finally lifts her eyes up to look at Alex. Something breaks in Alex, seeing Kara so vulnerable, reminding her of her first few months on Earth. Kara must see the look of anguish on her face because she doesn't look away, just watch her silently. Alex sniffs, clutching her hands together.

Kara must realize how much Alex is in need of a Danvers hug because the next moment Alex is engulfed into a tentative but warm hug, the only one in which she can fully relax. Today though, she can't relax all the way, not with these words hanging between them.

They stay like that for a while, Alex holding tightly Kara's suit at her back, face buried in her neck while Kara stands still. She would normally rub Alex's back in a soothing gesture but she's not sure it's the right move after her confession. She'd rather not do enough than too much and make Alex uncomfortable, so she stands there, a calming presence but still stiff.

When Alex finally retreats, Kara flushes and takes a few steps back, suddenly shy about their hugs. "I'm sorry," she whispers shamefully, like she's the one forcing Alex to hug her.

"Don't be," Alex says back, feeling colder than she did before Kara hugged her. She shifts on her spot, not quite sure what or how to ask. "So, um—" She clears her throat. "Do you— I'm not sure what to— to ask."

Kara crosses her arms and sigh, resigned. "Ask anything Alex."

She looks at her sister, at  _ Kara  _ for a beat. "Are you— you love me ?"

It's like when she resigned herself to saying everything to Alex took her shyness away. "Yes, I'm in love with you," she bluntly states, going for straight (or not quite) and clear answers, leaving no room for doubts and misunderstandings. 

Alex gapes. She asked, she did, but she didn't think hearing the answer would shock her so much. She blows out a breath, passing her hand through her hair, one hand on her hip. She paces a little, following Kara's earlier example, and her eyes fall on the door.   
She sends a silent  _ thank you  _ to Winn for having closed the door, leaving them the privacy they needed. She just hoped they wouldn't be interrupted too early, they had a lot to discuss.

She looks back at Kara, staying as still as a statue, as if she was worried the wrong breath would make her uncomfortable. 

"Are you sure ?"

Kara's head snaps towards her, eyes wide before scowling. "It's fine that you don't feel the same or even don't like it Alex, but how could you ask me that ?" She doesn't look angry, but hurt.

"No," Alex says as she shakes her head quickly. "No, not like that. Just— I don't get it," she whispers, her words only heard by Kara because of the silence surrounding them.

"What don't you get ?" Kara scoffs. "That you're the best person I know ? The most courageous, kind, beautiful, selfless woman I've ever met ?" She sounds like she's gushing about Alex's quality, but Alex know she's just stating facts. Or at least what Kara feels like are facts. "Alex, you're so funny and protective and smart, I don't— What don't you  _ get  _ ?" she asks, real curiosity in her voice. 

Alex knows that she's blushing now, feels her ears and cheeks burn. "That's not—  _ Kara—  _ Why—" she stammers, obviously not prepared to being complimented so much. She rubs her palms against her face, trying to calm down so she can have a real conversation with Kara. She huffs, frustrated. "There are people so much better for you," she says, finally able to speak like a normal person. "I'm your— supposed to be— we're—"

"Sisters," Kara says curtly. "We're foster sisters, I  _ know."  _ She sounds bitter but she can't help it. "That's why it took me so long to realize, because it's an impossible situation. I get it."

Alex knows she screwed up because Kara retreats into herself, face scrunched in sadness and loss. "I didn't mean it that way," she tries.

Kara looks at her dead in the eyes. "Alex, you don't have to ask these kind of questions if you don't want real answers. I know you don't and won't ever feel the same, and it's okay. Just— Give me time. To process and get used to it."

Alex looks taken aback. "Get used to it ?"

Rubbing her forehead, feeling the weariness, Kara sighs. "Yes, it's new to me too, so—"

"What do you mean,  _ new to you _ ?"

Kara stills and looks up. "I mean I didn't realize it until  _ Astra,"  _ she says through gritted teeth, "tried to set you up with Tan-Il."

Alex's eyebrows shots up. "And you told me right after ?"

Kara stays silent for a moment before answering. "Yes. I just— When there's something I don't understand I always come to you, so... I came to you. I don't want that to change because of what I feel, it's always been you and I don't want that to change," she almost begs, staring right into Alex's brown eyes.

"Oh," Alex exhales. "Okay. Okay. Yeah, I don't want that to change either," she agrees.

Kara relaxes then and even gives her a small smile. "Thank you," she says quietly. "I'm— I hope things won't be too— too awkward," she blushes and her shyness is back much to her consternation.

"Of course," Alex whispers, feeling the weight of the situation settle in. She suddenly feels really tired wants to ask Kara if she wants to go home so they can talk more comfortably. "We—"

A loud  _ beep  _ makes them jump in surprise, lost too long in their own world during their conversation, and they see a head peeking from behind the slightly opened door. "Hey..." Winn says lowly and hesitantly.

Both of the women flush, remembering they're not alone in this place after having a very personal conversation at their place of work. Kara is the first to get over it, straightening and glaring at the semi hidden head.   
She walks toward him, not even glancing at Alex, and forcefully opens the door wider, making the men yelp, actually  _ yelp.  _

" _ You fucking..."  _ Kara hisses, shocking both Winn and Alex. Alex never heard her swear, ever.

She sees her taking Winn by his collar and dragging him away, him stumbling after her trying to not fall and disappear into the hallway while Alex stays alone in the dark room, silent. 

"Oh shit," she whispers. " _ Shit." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I really had fun writing it.  
> I know I kinda paused [ Codependent ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15863436/chapters/36954654), but I'm still very much writing it, don't worry. I'm two timing it ;)
> 
> Anyway, leave me a comment to tell me what you thought about this, what you think is going to happen... What Alex is actually feeling.
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


	2. Run away, I'll find you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are kinda awkward, Kara runs away more than once, Alex gets frustrated by the situation and decides to take matters into her own hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... I know I said it'd only be two chapters, but I kinda changed my mind ?  
> So there'll be three. Definitely. Like an epilogue if you will.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this one, I know I took my time to finish it, sorry !
> 
> As usual, comments are welcome to give me an idea if it was liked and why.
> 
> Thank you for staying with me through it all guys, I really appreciate it :)

Alex was pacing the room she was still in even after Kara and Winn were long gone. She tries to get her breathing under control, having let it go wild now that she was alone.    
Compartmentalizing is one of her specialties and she did an amazing job of hiding her feelings and what she was thinking when Kara was confessing her love for her. Now wasn't as easy though, being left alone with her thoughts. Her thoughts that were raging and all over the place because of what Kara had told her.

Because Kara was  _ in love  _ with her _.  _ How was this possible ?

"Shit !" she shouts for a third time, hands going through her hair then against her head where she leaves them as she tries to contain a scream. She knows how many Kryptonians there were today and didn't want to risk alerting them. Mainly because of who they were.

She could send Tan-In packing with no problem, though she's not in any hurry to see him again.   
Astra... She could definitely use some space after the thing she pulled.   
And Kara, well. She had to get herself together before talking to her.

She takes a big breath before shaking her hands as if trying to get her blood flooding through them again. She exits the room and goes back toward the party, thinking Kara might be there.

"Kara— What happened ?"

The voice is heard from around the corner, Winn easily identified even is she can't see him yet. Alex frowns because she thought Kara would have taken him farther away to talk to him - or more like beat him to death - as they were only a few feet away from the training room. She doesn't want to spy though, even if she would have done it before now things were different. Where she would have done it with no remorse  _ and  _ told her about it after, now she doesn't want to risk making her uncomfortable somehow. So she steps forward, seeing Kara's back to her with hunched shoulders as she faces Winn.

"She—" Kara stops and whirls, back to Winn so she's facing Alex who's just appeared from the corner. "Hi !" she squeaks with a high-pitched voice and wide eyes, wincing at how forced it sounds. She stands there, still, as her face gets redder by the second until it matches her cape. Alex doesn't know what to do, not wanting to get closer when Kara is still visibly flustered by the whole situation, so she stays where she is until Kara stammers. "Um— I'm—  I'm—" She chuckles nervously,  _ loudly,  _ and points her thumb behind her towards another hallway. "I'm gonna see if they n-need something for the, you know, party," she lamely says and she looks like she's seconds away from imploding.

Alex blinks and she's directly facing Winn now that Kara left—  _ ran away _  at full speed. Winn jumps at the sudden eye contact and begins to move, trying to make his escape, until Alex very calmly and not at all angrily says "Stop."

So he does as she says, a foot in the air, and slowly turns his head to look at her. "Hey," he weakly says with an awkward wave.

She squints and makes her way to him, standing in her full  _ frightening  _ height. "What have you done ?" she menacingly asks, voice cold.

He's beginning to rethink his choice  _ and  _ whether he'd be safer with Kara or Alex right now. "Nothing ?"  _ Unconvincing, Schott  _ he internally berates himself.

"Try again," suggests Alex as she crosses her arms and arches an eyebrow. 

"Fine !" he sighs. "I just— I thought that—"

"Brave One," a voice rings out through the hallway making Winn sigh a  _ thank god  _ in relief and Alex roll her eyes in annoyance. 

"I'm in the middle of something here," she patiently says, watching Astra walk toward them over her shoulder. 

Astra raises her eyebrows as she makes a show of looking behind Alex. "Middle of what ?"

Alex frowns and look back at Winn only to find he's not here anymore.  _ Damn,  _ she must have trained him too well. And now the two persons she wants to talk to disappeared on her. She's sensing a pattern here. 

Alex turns fully to face Astra, arms crossed. "What do you want ?"

Keeping her innocent expression on, Astra raises her hands in a placating gesture. "No need for such animosity Brave One. What is wrong ?"

Alex throws her hands in the air as she huffs, glaring at Kara's aunt. "What's not ? Kara—" She cuts herself off, not wanting to reveal Kara's feelings to anyone, even in that particular anyone happened to be her family. 

"So it concerns my niece," Astra nods as she thought as much. "I can tell she means a great deal for you."

Alex rolls her eyes so hard they might just fly right off. "Of course she does, anybody can see that, she's my s— she's family," she catches herself at the last second and Astra beams internally but only smiles politely on the outside.

"Of course," she concedes with a little bow.

After a beat of glaring at Astra, Alex puts her hands on her hips. "So, what was that back there ? Setting me up with Tan-In ?"

Astra purses her lips, thinking about how much she should reveal. "I just wanted to help my niece out a little," she simply says.

"Help how ?" Alex's patience is wearing thin and Astra can feel it.

Sighing, Astra almost smirks. "Kara needed to realize her feelings and if I had to push her a little then that is what I did." She pauses, eyes almost piercing through Alex's soul, making her shudder and cross her arms again defensively. "I do hope it helped you as well," she adds with genuine concern. Even if her plan was a little unorthodox, all she really wanted was Kara's happiness and the better if it was with Alex. The Danvers soldier has proved her worth time and time again, protecting and saving Kara's life at the cost of her own.

"Helped me with what ?" Her tone is sharp and the Kryptonian can feel she already closed herself off from the conversation. "I'm not—"

Astra raises a hand to make Alex stop talking. "You may successfully lie to yourself, but do not think you can deceive me Brave One," cuts off Astra bluntly but gently. Her eyes soften at Alex's near panic look. "You should accept your love for my niece. I know this is not Krypton, but I believe Kara deserves to know the true feelings of the one she's pursuing." Seeing Alex's widen, she tries to backpedal a little. "Pursuing might not be the right term," she says as she purses her lips, thinking of a better word. "She is not pursuing you as you gave no sign her feelings were requited, which is a common mistake on Earth I noticed."

Alex just stands there, unmoving, as Astra was saying things that didn't make sense, things she assumed were true.

"I'm not having this conversation," Alex says while shaking her head a little too quickly, the  _ with you _  implied.

She doesn't wait for Astra's reply and just takes off, almost running through the DEO to get away from Astra and her overwhelming advice.

She's fuming. Angry at being used and manipulated by Astra, sad at having missed Kara's feelings all this time, confused by her own. She slows her pace, not wanting to get anywhere specifically at the time, just wanting to wander through the DEO, thinking. When passing by a usually empty room she hears muffled voices through the barely closed door, speaking softly.

"You were wrong," a voice said, breaking at the end.  _ Kara.  _ "You thought she felt the same and she doesn't. You should have seen her face Winn. She was so shocked, I saw her put her walls up." Alex's quiet breathing stops at that. She was sure she did a good job looking like she was fully opened to Kara, but she knew her too well. "She tried to comfort me," she chuckles a watery laugh and sniffs. "She tried to comfort me when I made her uncomfortable, and now— now everything is going to change." There's a silence for a beat, then "You were wrong when you said we belonged together."

Alex's heart tightens in her chest, hurting to her core at the sadness she caused Kara.

There's the sound of rustling where she imagines Winn scooting closer and wrapping his arm around her in comfort. "I'm sorry," and he does sound absolutely miserable. "I just- I thought with the way she looked at you... I'm sorry Kara. But that doesn't mean she loves you any less, it means she loves your differently. I know it's not the same, but you'll never lose her, believe me on that, okay ?"

There's a sniff, the sound of rustling clothes and Alex can picture Kara putting her face against Winn's chest for comfort, followed by a whispered  _ okay  _ that is unconvincing and utterly devastating. 

Alex scrunches her eyes closed and clenches her fists in an effort not to open the door and hug Kara with all she has, knowing she just needs time alone to process her feelings. As does she. So she takes a quiet, long breath and keeps walking, hoping Kara didn't hear her leaving, and keeps walking until she reaches the party again. 

The festivities died down a little bit but people are still talking, all wide smiles and bright eyes, happy to be alive. She looks around, trying to remember the good they did by beating Non and his goons, when her gaze fall on J'onn who is looking at her with warm and understanding eyes. 

He walks towards her and even before he can start talking, she shakes her head with a sad smile, telling him without speaking that she doesn't want to talk. Not yet.    
He watches her for a beat before nodding and giving her a one-armed hug, the ones she loves because it made her feel safe and loved by a father figure. By her  _ Space Dad  _ as Kara called him. 

She puts her head on his shoulder and her arm around his back, returning the hug, grateful to have him in her life. They stay like that for a moment, watching people talk animatedly and laugh, eat and drink to their heart content.

Right there, after saving the world  _ and  _ saving Kara, she feels happy. She knows she wouldn't be if she couldn't have saved the most important person in her life, knows that she never would be, so she takes the win.    
Enjoys the feeling because she's not sure she deserves more. More happiness, more love.   
She knows she can't go any further, that it's the happiest she'd ever be, so she's not going to go and risk it. Right there, she's at her peak. And that's what she's going to tell Kara. Tonight. She won't let her wait and hope when there's none. Not for them.

She takes a deep breath, waiting for the relief after taking a big decision like that, but it never comes. Instead she feels a weight on her chest, keeping her from breathing easily. She closes her eyes, waiting for the feeling of dread to pass. She took her decision. It was final. It was the right choice, she knew it. 

"Are you okay ?"

Keeping her eyes closed, Alex sighs and slowly looks up at J'onn who's watching her worriedly. "I'm fine," she lies, knowing J'onn can see right through her even without his powers. "I just have to do what I've got to do."

He looks at her sadly, as if knowing something she didn't. "You have more than one choice," he carefully murmurs. 

As he feared, Alex straightens and put her walls up. "I don't." 

And just like that she's gone, leaving him feeling like he failed her somehow and therefore let Kara down as a result. 

 

* * *

 

 

After putting on a brave face in front of Alex, Kara cried her eyes out with Winn who was kind enough to be there for her. Well, he kind of caused the whole situation so he owed her, but he didn't have to stay with her while she ugly cried about her unrequited feelings for her sister.  _ Foster  _ sister.

She was still shocked that he thought it was a normal thing to do, falling for foster siblings, but she was so grateful he supported and loved her through it all, even if she had no idea what to do now.   
She thought she knew about love, romantic love, but it turned out she was wrong. She just pretended, hoped to love someone as much as she did Alex.   
She thought Alex taught her about familial love, but it turned she was wrong about that too. She should have known, what she felt for Alex was nothing like she felt for Eliza or even J'onn. It was entirely different.

She didn't wonder how she missed it though,  _ that  _ she knew.   
Being new in a family is hard enough, being new on a planet is something else entirely. The fear of abandonment is enough to lie even to yourself about what you're feeling, trying to hide in order to fit in.   
So she'd much rather ignore her feelings instead of risking everything.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay a little longer ? Nothing's wrong with needing a little more time, you know ?" Winn, ever the kind one, asks her as she rises to her feet, ready to leave the small room they've been cooped up in for the last hour.

She gives him a small but genuine smile and squeezes his shoulder gently. "No, I'm fine now. Thank you Winn."

He shuffles on his feet, uncomfortable. "Listen Kara... I feel really terrible about it, you—"

"I promise, it's okay Winn." When he looks at her like she just said something insane, she chuckles. "It's true ! I would have realized it one day, at least now I had you by my side. I talked to her and she didn't— I mean she didn't  _ reject  _ me but she didn't have to, I- you know what, it's not relevant. She's not avoiding me and that's more than I could have asked for. It'll be awkward for a while, that's for sure, but we're going to be okay. You were right, I won't lose her."

He purses his lips because he can clearly tell she said it to comfort him, not because she believed it. So he smiles, which looks more like a grimace than an actual smile, and nods as she exits the room with drooped shoulders and red, puffy eyes from crying. 

She goes back to the last place where she saw Alex, near the training room, just in case. But as makes her way, actually closer to the party than the training room, she hears a heartbeat and freezes when she recognizes the familiar  _ thump thump.  _ She turns around to leave but a voice stops her.

"Kara." Her name is said with such softness and guilt that she slowly turns back to face her. 

"Aunt Astra," she answers with a strained voice. She knows she shouldn't be mad at her, she was only trying to set Alex up with a respected soldier, but she can't help feeling betrayed by her own blood.

Astra is standing there, hands clasped before her, with a pained look on her face and Kara wonders why. "I am sorry, Little One. I should not have tried to help you."

Kara frowns and crosses her arms at what was coming. "Help me ?"

Astra lowers her head in shame and holds her hands tighter, making her hands shake a little. When she looks up, she looks at Kara in the eyes, sincerity clearly displayed as she speaks. "I see how you behave with Alexandra." Kara mutters  _ Alex  _ without thinking, making Astra stop talking for a second as she smiles. "I see how you behave with Alex," she corrects and Kara blushes because she hadn't realized she said it out loud. "I wanted to give you a little push in the right direction."

"I don't understand."

"I wanted you to find happiness, but it seemed like you already found it. As I watched you two, I saw your love for her was more than she knew. More than  _ you  _ knew. I wanted to help," she says again.

Kara shrinks into herself, not wanting to have this conversation. Especially not so soon after the debacle with Alex. "I am happy," she defends though she knows her puffy eyes might indicate otherwise. 

The Kryptonian sighs and tilts her head a little in a very Kara way. "I wanted you to be as happy as you could be. And I think that being with Alexand—  _ Alex  _ is what you need to reach full happiness," she explains with a soft voice.

"I—" she shakes her head, ready to refute what Astra was implying, but deflates as she no longer cares about who knows about her feelings. "I tried, Astra," she says sadly with a little voice. "I talked to her, and she doesn't feel the same."

Astra takes a step forward and continues when Kara doesn't step away. Once in front of her niece, she puts her hands on her arms, trying to make her relax as she can see the white knuckles from clenching her fists too hard. "Has she said so ?"

Kara sniffs and lowers her head, trying to hide the new fresh tears. "She didn't have to. She didn't say anything. Plus, she can't feel the same."

She hesitantly takes Kara in a hug, relieved when Kara doesn't even tense, and holds her tight in a way she knows no Human can. "You took her by surprise," she says in a soothing tone, rubbing Kara's back. "I do not think she had time to process everything, you should give her some time," she recommends.

"I know I have to give her time, it was so awkward," she says as her voice becomes more muffled as she buries her head in Astra's neck. "I have no hope though, so I won't be disappointed when she wants to talk to me." Astra hums sadly but offers no response as she knows Kara made up her mind and anything she'd say would be refuted. After a moment, Kara straightens with furrowed eyebrows and looks at Astra dead in the eyes. "What did you mean when you said you wanted to help me ?"

At Astra's guilty look she recoils, stepping back in anticipation of her aunt's answer. Astra takes a big breath, readying herself to tell Kara about her manipulation. "I had no intention of..." She trails off with a focused expression that Kara came to associate with Astra trying to remember a Human expression. "Setting Alexandra up with Tan-In."

Kara's scrunched eyebrows relax and shoot up to her hairline in surprise. "You didn't ?"

"I just wanted you to realize she belonged with you and no one else," she explains."

Mouth agape, Kara stares at Astra with a shocked expression, not believing her aunt would do something like that. Bit by bit, her face gets redder by the second as she processes what Astra just said. "Belo— Alex doesn't  _ belong  _ with me !" she splutters while flailing her arms around like she was trying to shoo a bug. "She doesn't !"

"Then who does she belong to ?"

Kara stops so she can think, not even aware of the weird conversation she was having in the DEO halls where anyone could hear them. "I don't know, I mean— someone kind and— and gentle, someone who'd love her more than anything. Most of all, someone that deserves her and makes her happy. As long as she's happy, I'm fine with it." She looks determined as she says everything that she thinks, meaning every word. Her voice is clear and strong, echoing in the hallway. "She doesn't belong with me, but I belong with her. I'd do anything for her, including fading in the background if it means she can find happiness with someone else."

There's less than a beat of deafening silence before there’s a sharp inhale making Kara freeze because it came from behind her, not from Astra.

Astra has a look of  _ whoops, there it is,  _ which consists of wide eyes staring at someone over Kara's shoulder and lips rolled in, making Kara unbelievably tense. After their conversation, she can guess who makes Astra reacts that way and she wishes the ground would swallow her whole.   
It wouldn't kill her, but she could avoid the terribly awkward and embarrassing encounter. Plus, she could dig her way up after a while. Although... If she didn't have direct contact with the sun, would she have enough strength to do so ? Because if the ground opened under her, how far would she fall ? A few feet ? Miles ? The possibilities were endless and she'd much rather think about it rather than— 

"Little One."

Although the voice is soft and quiet, Kara still startles and jumps a little as she comes back to reality, blinking rapidly.  Her heart starts beating wildly as she snaps back to the present but she's frozen on the spot, too terrified to turn around.

"Kara..." The strangled voice makes her whirl without meaning to, always trying to please the person it belongs to. 

As she faces Alex, Kara notices several things. First, as her eyes fall on Alex's face, she sees the shock and anguish written all over her face. She sees Alex's hands extended in front of her, as if she was going to reach for her but thought better of it and stopped in the middle of the action. 

Then she sees that they're definitely not alone. She recognizes this hallway and realizes that just around the corner is the big hall where the party is taking place. A few people must have heard their voices and came to see what was happening and now she was being stared at by a dozen people, including Winn and J'onn of course.

Winn already knew, and J'onn must have heard Alex's thoughts because he once said that when she wasn't focused, her thoughts were screaming and he couldn't help but hear them.   
Everyone else though, she didn't really know them but she still worked with them every day. Alex too, and now she pretty much yelled her feelings for someone who was supposed to be her sister in front of all of her colleagues.

She's mortified and can't think about what to say, or what to do. So she does the only thing she can think of and for the second time today, she runs from Alex without saying one word.

One second she's there, looking at Alex, petrified, and the next she's just gone, leaving everyone dumbfounded and bareheaded. 

Alex grits her teeth and she could scream in frustration. Why did that keep happening to her today ?  _ She  _ didn't do anything, she just wanted to talk ! Why everyone was fleeing from her ?

She clenches her fists and takes off, running by J'onn and Winn without even acknowledging them, trying to think of where Kara might go now. The most obvious answer is her apartment so she leaves the DEO on her bike in less than three minutes and makes her way to Kara's, her focus on the road instead of what she's going to say to her.

Still on her bike in front of Kara's building, Alex takes off her helmet and watches Kara's window, wondering if she already knows she's here or if she's too stressed out to listen for her heartbeat. She sighs and gets off the bike, walking to the door of the building with the helmet under her arm. 

As she walks up the stairs, she tries to think about what she can say to Kara. The situation is so delicate, she doesn't want to be insensitive or say things without thinking it through.   
She decides as she walks up to Kara's front door that honesty is her best bet. She's always been honest with Kara, save for the few lies about her job, and she doesn't want to stop now. So if she doesn't have all of the answers, she'll tell Kara just that.

She takes a quiet breath, hoping some courage will come with the air, and knocks. There's a beat of silence then loud noises, like furniture being knocked down, rustling. She worries there's a fight, her mind going back to the time of the Black Mercy, and shoulder her way in, pushing the unlocked door opened in panic, slamming against the wall.

Her breath is ragged and her wild eyes look around to locate the danger but the only thing out of place is the couch and the coffee table overturned.   
She slowly walks closer, hand ready on her gun still holstered, and spots Kara on the ground, tangled in several blankets, halfway to the living room window. 

Alex takes a moment to process the situation while Kara stares at her with wide eyes, quiet and unmoving, then clenches her jaw in anger and crosses her arms. "Going somewhere ?"

Obviously having tried to run off  _ again,  _ Kara must have stumbled over the blanket she was rolled in if the TV displaying her favorite TV show was any indication, and tripped over the coffee table, somehow taking the couch along with her.    
All in all, it was a ridiculous and embarrassing situation for Kara but Alex didn't have it in her to laugh at her, or for Kara to be embarrassed. She just looked annoyed at having being caught. 

"That was the hope," Kara grumbles under her breath as she tries to untangle herself from the blankets before sighing in resignation and tearing them apart, sighing again as she rises to her feet and looks at the shreds of her soft blankets fall off from her shoulders. "What are you doing here ?" she asks defensively.

Alex opens her mouth to answer but no words come out, too shocked and confused about Kara's strange behavior. Since when was Kara even remotely aggressive towards her ? "I— Um, well..." She clears her throat, trying to find her voice again. "You took off before we had a chance to talk."

As she speaks, she recalls the words Kara had spoken, and a blush creeps up from her neck to her hairline, ears burning.   
Kara isn't faring any better but her pouting and closed off look make her seem more undisturbed about it all.

She shrugs and Alex decides she definitely doesn't like this new Kara. "I don't know what more there is to talk about," she says with a harsh but vulnerable voice.

Alex lets out something between a scoff and a strangled noise, unbelief loud and clear. "You don't know— Kara, we barely talked !"

"I said everything I had to say, and you obviously had nothing to add," Kara retorts while throwing her hands in the air as if it was obvious.

"Kara," Alex sighs while pinching the bridge of her nose. "This is not something I was expecting. You must know I need some time to process it all." Kara doesn't say anything but stubbornly stares at the floor, decided not to look at Alex. "I was actually going to suggest we go to your house to talk. Before Winn interrupted us."

Furrowing her eyebrows, Kara looks up. "Really ?"

Alex's face softens and she smiles. "Really," she assures. "So... Can we ? Talk ?"

The anger leaves Kara's face and she looks away, nodding. "Yeah," she whispers.

Alex is proud of herself for looking like she wasn't going to implode, like she wasn't putting all of her efforts into making sure her voice didn't tremble and making sure she could form normal sentences.

She shouldn't have bothered though because when she pushes the blankets aside and lifts the coffee table, she hears a  _ thud  _ and when she looks down, she sees a bottle slowly rolling towards her, stopping at her foot. She takes it to look at the label and her eyebrows raise when she recognizes the Alien alcohol from the Alien bar.

She looks up to see Kara struggling to put the couch on its right side, putting too much force and tipping it off again or not putting enough force, making it fall back down on its side.

_ Oh. Well, that explains that.  _

She frowns and put the half empty bottle on the kitchen counter before coming behind Kara, putting her hand on her arms to make her stop her vain attempts at putting the couch back to its original place. "Stop," she softly demands.

Surprisingly, Kara doesn't recoil at the touch. She seems to have let go of her anger and just kind of gave up, letting herself be guided to the coffee table as Alex makes her sit on it. Kara does as she's silently told and Alex takes care of the couch so they can get comfortable to finally talk.

As she stays quiet sitting on the table, Kara stares at Alex without realizing it, getting lost in the way she sighs and huffs when trying to put the couch back, in the way she rolls her eyes when she spots a potsticker that rolled under the couch at some point. She gets lost in the way Alex rolls up her sleeves when they keep getting stuck on a pointy thing of the couch Kara must have broken, or in the way she scratches behind her ear as she watches the new position of the couch, wondering if it's the right place.    
Basically, Kara gets lost in Alex as a whole, and she can't seem to find her way back to normality even though she's not sure what's normal anymore. 

Kara unconsciously stares at Alex, feeling the need to memorize every inch of her face and her expressions. Even with her advanced vision, she wants to see as clearly as possible the way her cheeks rose or how her nose scrunches (like it's doing right now as she picks up the old and unwanted potsticker off the ground, her arm extended to keep a safe distance between her and the smelly gooey thing). So she follows Alex with her eyes, follows every movement and noise Alex makes, all the while staying on the coffee table as Alex comes back from throwing the offensively smelly food. Or so she thought.

She realizes she unintentionally got up and walked up to Alex when she hears a sharp inhale. And when she feels something warm against the palm of her hand, she snaps back to reality and gasps as she steps back, her leg throwing a chair on its side with her brusque movement.   
Now a good 15 feet away from her, she can still feel the warmth of Alex's cheek on her hand when she cupped it without meaning to.

They stare at each other for a moment, Kara noticing Alex is holding her breath subconsciously, waiting for the next move, and Kara can't take it anymore. She's tipsy, if not drunk, and being in Alex's presence is too much right now, like how it's been since she confessed her feelings for her.   
Alex feels it a second before it happens but her attempt is still too little too late as Kara flies off the window, leaving a grumbling Alex behind her.

"You shouldn't fly drunk !" Kara hears the warning Alex shouts at the window as she flies away, straining to keep flying in a straight line and not accidentally bump into buildings and destroying them in the process. Supergirl could get over it, but as she was flying as Kara Danvers, she'd rather not risk it.

There was only one place she could avoid Alex now and she was determined to do so. If only for a little while, just until she could face her like a normal person and stop being so flustered around her all the time.   
She picks up the pace, worried her sister would somehow guess where she was going and find a way to get there, so she can have as much time alone as she can.

A loud  _ bang _ echoes in Kara’s apartment as the coffee table is kicked away by Alex’ foot, groaning out loud as she presses her fists against her eyes to stop the tears from coming. The whole situation is so frustrating. Kara confessing her feelings was already a big source of anxiety, doubt and fear, but her running away anytime they might really talk about it only worsens what Alex feels.

The worst of it is the doubt, the feeling old and nostalgic.    
At first, she always felt it because how could an Alien who broke everything at her house would ever become her friend, let alone her sister ? And how could she ever get pass her anger and frustration at having to be nice to this new girl shy enough to not only ignore her when trying to greet her, but also hide from her behind her own parents ?  _ This relationship isn’t ever going to work,  _ Alex had thought then, already resigned to a life of fake smiles and uncomfortables moments. Boy, how wrong she was.   
Then, the feeling flew away with the rest of her insecurities regarding her relationship with Kara. Really, it was obvious no person could resist Kara’s dorky charm and her awkward attempts at being a little more human, a little more normal.

And now the doubt was back and she didn’t know what to do about it. She usually would go straight to Kara to talk about any problem she might have, but now her confidant was intentionally avoiding her and it was making everything worse.   
How was she supposed to figure out her own feelings if not with Kara ? It was all very sudden and it there was one thing she learnt, it’s that she processed everything much better when talking about with her foster sister. It took time and endless fights to figure it out, always withdrawing when facing a difficult problem or feelings, but when she finally let it all out, it was like a light bulb suddenly turned on in her mind.  _ Talking  _ was the secret to a healthy relationship. Who knew ?

And Kara being the one to point that out to her when trying to make her come out of her shell, she found it hilariously dumb that she was now the one running away from a constructive and desperately needed conversation.   
And Alex being Alex, she uses her anger as fuel to find where Kara went, the need to talk to her now stronger than before.

She has a few ideas so she goes to look to the most obvious ones. Her apartment is off the list of course, so she goes to her own place.   
She’s again grateful that she chose to buy a bike when she began working for the DEO, always getting calls when she was home or elsewhere and needing to go to the field as quickly as possible, because now her search is going faster than if she had a car. The traffic is awful in the city and she wonders once again why Kara never agreed on Alex riding her to work when she could to avoid the bus.

The road is dark now, the night having fallen, and the fresh air helps her clear her mind. She closes her eyes when she stops at a red light, enjoying the slight wind and takes a minute to recenter her thoughts. Trying to understand her own feelings proves to be more difficult that she thought, partly because she didn’t know there was any feelings to figure out.

A loud honk forces her out of her own mind and she glares at the driver before speeding up again, getting closer to her place. When she gets in front of her building, she already knows Kara’s not here. It was a long shot but she still had to try. All of the lights are off, she can see it through her living room window overlooking the city, and Kara always lights at least the Christmas garland she forbade Alex to remove because it was “too cute not to look at everyday”.   
She still goes up to her floor and open the door to make sure, sighing when all she can hear is the silence in the dark.

Then, she goes all the way to CatCo and is allowed access only because she came so much to see Kara that they know her, and she gets in the elevator and push the last button. While waiting for the slow elevator to get to the last floor, she whistles lowly to pass the time, then humming an old Kryptonese song Kara once taught her.   
Finally reaching the last floor, she gets out and uses the stairs to access the roof, only to find it empty. Kara told her she often came here because it was the highest building in the city and it was as close as flying as she could get without using her powers. 

She checks out a few others places, crossing them out one by one, and forgoes the ones that would be closed at this time of the night. She was getting nowhere with this search and was starting to get antsy; she doesn’t want to let Kara alone too long because she’s afraid she might get some dark thoughts stuck in her head.   
She wants to try one last thing before having to resort to her last hope, and pulls out her phone, dialing a familiar number.

The phone rings, then a woman answers.  _ “Hello ?” _

“Hi, Mom.”

_ “Oh, hi honey. Is everything okay ?” _

Alex purses her lips because no, not everything is. Nothing is, really. “I’ll worry later about the fact that you always think something’s wrong when I call because I do have a small problem right now.”

Eliza immediately worries, knowing Alex’s job and how often she risked her life on a daily basis without actually calling her every time.  _ “What is it ? Are you okay ? Is Kara okay ?” _

And the brunette sighs, rubbing her forehead with frustration because her mother asking if Kara’s okay means only one thing. “Kara isn’t with you ?” She asks anyway, just to be sure.

_ “With me ? Why would she be ?”  _ A pause.  _ “Alex, what’s going on ? Is she missing ?” _

“No, everything’s fine,” she rushes to reassure her. “We just— We kind of had a fight and she’s… avoiding me,” she lamely confesses.

_ “Oh.”  _ She pauses again.  _ “Well, I’m sure you’ll find your way back to each other again. You always do. And you know that if she’s not here...”  _ There’s pity in her voice, but not because of the situation. Because of what Alex has to do next, because of where she needs to go.  _ “I still have your ski suit,”  _ she offers unhelpfully.

“No thanks, I’m good,” she grumbles. “I don’t plan on staying long,” she says, determined. 

_ “Good,”  _ Eliza replies, surprising Alex.  _ “Keep me updated.”  _ There’s a moment of hesitation then, so unlike her mother that Alex dreads what she’s going to hear next.  _ “What happened ?” _

And Alex frowns because that wasn’t what she was expecting. And she doesn’t know why her mother hesitated to ask. Then, she feels the anxiousness coming back, because… what to tell her ? “Um, you know. A fight, as sisters do.” She grimaces, the word now almost leaving a bad taste on her tongue with the new meaning Kara put in her head. But Eliza only hums, almost…  _ knowingly,  _ making Alex sweat in the cold air because how could Eliza know anything that was happening as Kara only found out herself. Or… “Did Kara call you ?”

_ “No.”  _ She seems to be telling the truth be her tone is too light, too  _ amused.  _

“What do you know ?” she asks suspiciously, quickly switching from her phone to her earpiece — the DEO was handy like that — so she could ride her bike while talking.

Her bike roars to life as she hears her mother chuckle.  _ “Nothing, just— go find her.” _

She groans as she speeds between cars, frustrated her mother wouldn’t tell her anything. “Fine,” she grumbles, and Eliza chuckles again.

_ “Keep me updated,”  _ she reminds her in her mother-tone, but with kindness beneath it all.

“Yeah, yeah,” she brunette mumbles before disconnecting the call, knowing her mother was used to her hanging up like that, and refocuses on the road.

Finally, she resigns herself. She didn’t think Kara would go all the way there, but clearly the situation called for it.

The drive to the DEO is quick, but not quick enough because Kara is alone. Once in the underground parking lot, she unceremoniously parks her bike and leaves her helmet hanging on a handlebar knowing no one would risk touching what belongs to her, and walks the stairs so fast she skips one step in two.

When she reaches the hub, she doesn’t stop to catch her breath, instead she runs around, her eyes searching the man she needed the most right now. Her gaze falls on Vasquez, dutifully typing on her computer, and she walks over to her.

“Hey, have you seen—” She makes the woman jump, her voice breathless and loud in the otherwise silent DEO, but stops in the middle of her question when she spots something around the corner of one of the hallways. “Never mind,” she mumbles absentmindedly, eyes fixed on the hallway, as she strides in its direction.

She follows the shadow she sees walking rapidly away from her, disappearing around every corner they turn, until Alex has had enough and takes a short-cut, effectively coming face to face with the person she’s been chasing.

His voice is gruff but she can detect a hint of nervousness. “Agent Danvers,” he reluctantly greets as he stops, barely managing to avoid crashing into her as she stands there, fists on her hips.

“J’onn,” she greets back, but her tone is not a patient one.  _ It’s her Kara-voice,  _ he quickly recognizes and internally sighs. It couldn’t be good. “I need your help.”

But he’s already shaking his head and taking a couple of steps backwards, hands raised. “No. No, I am busy and I am sure that— that whatever is happening can be fixed without my help,” he rushes to say, turning away and  _ running  _ away from Alex.

“I really wish people would stop doing that,” she grumbles under her breath, quickly following him. “Come on !” she shouts a little too loud but doesn’t care.

“No !” he calls out over his shoulder. “You can scare your— your—  _ Kara  _ on your own.”

And Alex grimaces at the awkwardness on how to define her relationship with Kara now, but frowns when she registers J’onn’s words. “I’m not going to scare her,” comes the quick defense, but J’onn doesn’t reply. In fact, he looks a little stiffer than a second ago as he keeps walking away from her when a thought comes to mind. “Are you afraid of me, Director ?” she smirks, the idea of her superior intimidated by her so ridiculously funny she can’t stop from laughing out loud.

“I’m not,” he grumbles, “I just prefer not to be in the vicinity when you have your Alex-moments.”

“My what ?” she whispers, confused, but gets back to scowling at how unhelpful her boss is being. “J’onn, come on ! I’ll clean the cells for one month !” she pleads loudly, not caring about odd looks sent her way.

J’onn stops dead at that, Alex slowing down too until she’s only a few feet away, and he turns to her. “One month ?”

“One month,” she confirms, already regretting it. 

No one wants to clean the cells. It’s always way more dirty than it should be, probably the inmates being difficult on purpose, and the transfers of those inmates are always a pain as they, again, are probably being more difficult on purpose.   
And they can’t hire outside help as said inmates are Aliens and murderers, so agents have to take care of it. And now, Alex has to do it for one whole month during which she doesn’t think she’ll be able to eat after the cleaning.

He purses his lips, watching her for a couple of beats until he nods. “Fine.  I couldn’t find a volunteer, even among the new recruits.” He pauses and sighs. “What do you need ?”

She looks away and rubs the back of her neck, feeling her cheeks heat up a little. “Well…”

 

* * *

 

 

 

Even if it’s not as much as Kara, Alex is still grateful Martians run hot too. She’s shivering in his arms, the cold piercing through her skin and her five layers of warm clothes, and she grits her teeth to stop them from clattering. Biting her tongue and having to stop the bleeding wouldn’t be convenient right now.

With each breath she takes a little cloud appears in front of her, even though she would have thought the cold would have frozen the air and turned it into icicles.

Burying her head farther into J’onn’s shoulder, she closes her eyes so they won’t become ice. “We’re not far,” she informs the man, mumbling into his shoulder, a little grunt her only reply.

When they get closer, she lightly tap J’onn’s shoulder to warn him and he slows down as he holds Alex tighter in his arm so he can begin flying down. Once their feet are on the ground, J’onn takes a step back and Alex shakes her shoulders a bit, the nerves coming back full force. She takes a deep breath and turns around to face J’onn.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, trying to keep her voice level to a minimum so Kara wouldn’t hear her. A girl could dream.

Her boss, her mentor and second father just nods and holds her shoulder, squeezing a little to show his support. “Good luck. And…” He purses his lips, hesitating. Should he butt in ? It wasn’t his place. On the other hand, he only wanted her to be happy, so he decided to make it short and clear. “Be honest.”

With one last look, Alex’s determined and J’onn’s relieved, he takes off to go back to the DEO. They agreed that, if anything happened, he’d be reachable through their DEO earpieces. Although, regardless of what would happened between them, Kara would never leave Alex freeze in the Arctic. 

Now standing at the entrance, Alex has to crane her neck to see the top of the massive ice door. The ice is clear, almost transparent as if a light knock could break it in a million pieces, but she knows better. She knows it’s not ice, not really. It’s an alien crystal so tough it could survive a nuclear bomb.   
But she frowns when her gaze falls on the edge of the door, noticing it slightly ajar. She has been mentally prepared to embarrassingly knock, knowing there was no way to open it without the key, but Kara must have thought she wouldn’t follow her here. Well, tough luck.   
She hesitantly puts her hand against it and pushes hard. She has to put most of her strength into the thrust so it could move just enough for her to pass through.

She slowly gets in for the first time and finds it hard to breathe as she walks and spots the two statues. Jor-El and Lara in all their splendor, gigantic and mighty and showing off all of their greatness. Alex has to look for a few seconds, breath stolen by the sight of Kara’s family represented in such a powerful way.   
She gulps and looks away. That’s not why she’s here today.

Passing the two statues that greet people when entering the large place in each side of the door, Alex continues down a short hallway that opens on a vast space.

Alex guesses it works a little like a living room, but there’s not furniture except for what looks like high but narrow tables where precious items Kal-El brought back from his many trips lay. Those tables are in a circle, surrounding the whole place, and at the center of it all something causes Alex’s breath to catch.

And at the center of it all sits Kara cross-legged, back to Alex and facing Alura, the hologram of Kara’s mother.    
Alex hears her own heart working double time in her chest, the hammering loud and painful as she almost felt it trying to get out through her throat.

“Kara…” she whispers involuntary, the sight so lonely and heart wrenching that she can’t keep the words in.

The blonde’s slumped shoulders tense when hearing her voice and Alex guesses she didn’t hear her come in, one way or another.    
She see her foster sister’s head turns minutely, almost like trying to look behind her without facing Alex, before she faces forward once again.

Kara sighs and closes her eyes once again, hands resting on her knees. “You shouldn’t have come here, Alex.”

Although her voice is soft, it echoes enough in the vast place so Alex easily hear, followed by a quiet  _ sniff  _ heard all the same.   
Alex’s eyes turn sad, knowing she somehow caused this sorrow to the most happy and nice person in this planet, and she swallows hard, mustering all of the courage she has.

“You shouldn’t keep the door opened, you never know who might come in,” she jokes, trying to gain some time to think. Because she didn’t have time to pause and just take a moment to  _ think  _ as she tried to find her foster sister that just flew away. From her.

“Clearly,” she heard the blonde mumble under her breath, and that hurts more than she thought it would. 

Because she prepared herself to bitterness and even anger, knowing the alien was a little drunk, but she hadn’t prepared for the words, even if innocent, to have that much effect on her.

“Kara, come on,” she pleads while taking a step forward, trying to close the distance between them slowly but surely. “I just want to talk.”

“Why ?” The answer comes so quick and desperate that Alex blinks.

And she frowns. “Why ?” she asks, confused. 

She sees Kara take a breath as her shoulders rise with the movement before they slump again, like they were before she heard her come in. “Why would you want to talk to me ?”

Alex easily hears the sadness in her tone, even a little frustration. But what takes her by surprise is the disgust, well disguised as anger but not well enough, Alex knowing her inside and out prevailing her from lying to her.

“ _ Why—  _ Because you’re m— Because you’re family !” she settles on, not knowing how else to define their relationship now. She wants to say  _ Because I love you  _ but she doesn’t know how she does love her yet, so she refrains from giving the woman hope.

That seems to wake Kara up from her lethargy and she whirls around, an angry expression on her face. She stumbles a little in her haste, alcohol still in her system, but rights herself and stands tall. Or tries to. “Because I should definitely not be feeling what I’m feeling,” she almost shouts, eyes watery and lip quivering. “I shouldn’t !”

Alex runs then, catching Kara as she almost drops on the floor when all the anger and fight leave her body, leaving her with nothing but sadness and frustration against her own self. 

“Hey, hey,” whispers desperately Alex, arms full of Kryptonian, slowly lowering them both on the ground so Kara could relax without falling. She lovingly strokes long blond hair, pulling Kara’s face against her chest even as she resists a little before stopping fighting it and letting herself melt into Alex’s embrace. “It’s okay,” she reassures her, tightening her hold so Kara could feel the truth in her words, in her gestures.

“It’s not,” croakes out Kara, sniffling loudly but staying in her foster sister’s arms. “How are you not— not  _ disgusted  _ by me ?” she asks, the incredulity bleeding from her voice.  _ And here it is,  _ thinks Alex, expecting this since she heard the emotion in Kara’s tone earlier. “I know I am,” she adds quieter, her voice deeper and calmer.

Alex squeezes her eyes shut hard at that, knowing Kara can easily hear her heart now that she’s got her ear against her chest, and clenches her jaw. This isn’t how she wanted Kara to feel. “You shouldn’t,” she says, keeping Kara’s head against her when the blonde tries to pull away. “You shouldn’t because it’s okay. I’m not mad,” she promises, and Kara snorts. A sad one, but one that conveys her incredulity once more. “I’m not,” she repeats, “I’m just… surprised.” That’s not much of a confession, but she’s trying to remain truthful.

There’s a beat of silence then “I don’t have to imagine,” Kara murmurs, referring to the fact that she only figured her feelings out a few hours ago, almost at the same time as Alex, and the brunette chuckles a little at that.

“Yeah…” whispers Alex, trying to imagine herself in Kara’s shoes.

Finding out she had feelings for someone she considered her sisters for almost a decade would have been quite the shock, but she knew how she would have reacted. She would have run for the hills, keeping everything inside and avoided Kara for as long as it would have taken her to behave like a sibling again.   
It would have hurt Kara in the process, knowing the blonde would have wondered about the sudden distance between them, and confusing and lonely for Alex.

But Kara handled it like an adult, a bold and courageous being that decided to trust her best friend and confident with this very new and very scary information. Alex would have never been able to do that, even now she had trouble expressing how she felt because she wasn’t exactly sure.

“Listen…” Alex starts talking again, startling Kara slightly that had relaxed in her hold now. “I’m don’t— I’m not sure how I feel. And I’m sorry I can’t give you a straight answer, but right now I don’t really now. I— I mean, we didn’t really talk and I haven’t had the time to really process and— and—”

“Hey,” Kara gently shushes her, frowning as she pulls away to look at her in the eyes which were wild with indecision and doubt. “You don’t have to, I’m not expecting anything,” she assures her, eyes still shimmery but sure. “I just— I don’t want to lose you,” she confesses, her voice turning wobbly again, “and staying your sister is enough for me, I just wanted you to know.” She sniffs again, wiping away her fresh tears.

“Oh, honey…” Alex whispers, while pulling Kara against her once more. “You won’t ever lose me, and I’m sorry if I made you think it was even a possibility. You know if you accidentally killed someone I would bury them, right ? I know how to plan the perfect escape.”

Kara chuckles but knows how true this statement is, knows how far Alex would be willing to go for her, how far she already has been for her. Flying into space with an untested and outdated pod would be a great example of what Alex is willing to do for her, and her heart finally calms down for the first time since Alex showed up.

“I know,” she mumbles against Alex’s collarbone, and the fake fur of her coat gets stuck to her lips and she sputters to remove those on her tongue, causing Alex to pull away a little with furrowed eyebrows.

“What are you  _ doing  _ ?” she asks, eyes twinkling with amusement and relief.

Kara continues to spit and tries to remove the strands stuck on her tongue with her fingers, nose scrunched and frown in place in disgust. “Your dead animal is trying to choke me,” she accuses, making Alex laugh. 

“It’s not a real one, dummy !”

The blonde makes a non-committal noise and stays focused on the task, surprised it’s taking her that long. “Sure tastes the same though,” she mumbles her complaint.

There’s a beat of silence before Alex purses her lips. “And what would you know about what fur animal tastes like ?” she inquires with a raised eyebrow, watching Kara’s fingers freeze at the question.

“You don’t want to know how many social mistakes I made when I first arrived,” she confesses with a full blush, hiding her face by letting her long hair fall as a curtain in front of her face while Alex lets out a full belly laugh, echoing loudly in the vast ice castle. “Laugh any louder and you’re going to shatter my aunt and uncle,” she teases, glancing briefly at the statues with a small smile and look full of love.

Alex gasps then, hand on her heart as she watches Kara with wide eyes. “ _ You _ , young lady,” she says while poking at Kara in the chest, “can’t tell me  _ my  _ laugh is too loud when  _ yours _ ,” pokes again, “draws the attention of any bystander around us !”

Kara just shrugs and returns into Alex’s arms, the brunette easily welcoming her back into her embrace, and puts her ear against her chest to hear her heartbeat. “It’s not my fault you’re so hilarious,” she teases with a grin. Alex hums and settle her cheek against the top of Kara’s head, basking in the relaxing atmosphere. After a while, Kara has a thought. “Aren’t you cold ?”

Alex shakes her head, the movement ruffling Kara’s hair a little and the alien half-heartedly grumbles some nonsense just for the sake of it. “Nope, and I feel once again grateful your body runs so hot.”

The blonde’s eyes widen at that comment as she feels her face heat up in less than a second and quickly hides into Alex’s fur again, damn the strands of fake animal hair in her mouth. “Good,” she mumbles against the fabric, and Alex tightens her hold as she thinks Kara just wants to be closer.

The weird thing is, it’s not even weird being this close with the foster sister she knows since almost a decade just after learning this same foster sister is in love with her. It’s comfortable and the most natural thing in the world, and she’d be damned if she lets herself screw everything.

“So, we’re good ?” she hesitantly checks with the woman hiding in her arms, letting her body-temperature keeping her warm.

Kara inhales, the familiar scent relaxing her immediately, and nods against Alex’s shoulder. “We’re good,” she confirms, staying like this a while longer to enjoy this proximity. 

She worries that, once back home, the adrenaline and everything Alex felt now will be out of her system and she’ll realize how weird it is, how that’s not what she wants. That she wants a boyfriend that doesn’t ask questions about her oddly close relationship with her sister who is in fact her foster sister, or that she just wants more distance between them and starts having her own social life away from hers.

But for now, she’s just going to enjoy Alex’s acceptance and love, however much it is.

After a while, she feels Alex shift around her. “Is that why you didn’t hear me come in ? Because you’ve been talking to your mom ?” she asks, almost shyly, and Kara looks up to see her watching Alura’s hologram.

The blonde follows her gaze, watching her mother looking into the distance with no warmth in her eyes, no recognition as the Fortress of Solitude and Krypton’s memories lie before her. And Kara smiles sadly, hurt there’s no love in her mother’s expression but resigned.

“No,” she answers eventually. “Kal made modifications here. We can’t use our x-ray vision or super-hearing so we can rest a little. And nothing’s breakable, so we’re a little more human here.”

Alex looks around once more, taking in all the cold beauty of this sanctuary and imagining it the only place where she can feel normal. “I’m gonna make you something,” she decides out loud. “So you can temper your powers wherever you are,” she explains when Kara looks at her curiously.

There’s a sharp inhale from the blonde followed by a beat of silence, then Kara buries her face into Alex’s shoulder once more, hiding her blush and tears into her coat. “Thank you.” The emotion in her voice makes the brunette smile and squeeze her in her arms. There’s a silence then Kara shifts a little in Alex’s arms. “She would have loved you,” she confesses in a whisper and Alex’s breath catch before Kara lets out a watery chuckle. “We should go, or you’ll freeze to death.”

Alex recognizes it for what it is, a pathetic distraction, but still goes along. So she nods and gets up when Kara does, looking around one last time, then holds her hand out for Kara to take with an encouraging smile which the blonde shyly takes with a faint blush.

They slowly walk in silence, both enjoying the place and what it means for the alien, until they finally reach the outside. Kara begins pulling the door shut, no real strength in it, when Alex shudders as the cold pierce her several layers of clothes..

“I would have loved to meet her,” she eventually says with such a gentle voice that Kara stops pulling the door for a couple of seconds before resuming the movement.

She turns around to face Alex and give her the warmest smile she can, knowing who her foster sister was talking about, and her eyes shine in the cold air. She takes a deep breath as she rubs her face to get rid of the stray tears and emotions.

“Ready to go ?”

Alex takes the hand Kara’s offering and, determined, she says “Always.”


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy arrives. Lucy yells a little. Alex is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long hehe
> 
> And I really hope you'll like it cause it feels a little botched ? Tell me what you think in the comments !
> 
> Thank you for surviving my lateness and weird writing, for staying until the end and supporting me !

Two months later and things couldn’t be more… wrong.

The world seems to want to keep them working their asses off trying to defend Earth, fighting alien after alien, human degenerate after human degenerate, and they just can’t catch a break.

The foster sisters don’t have any free time to spend together instead of sleeping, and even then they don’t get a lot of those. The DEO keeps calling them back to the base to run tests, to figure out attack plans and to catch the bad person of the day.  
So Kara went back to coming in to the DEO even on her CatCo days to feed Alex, bringing her greasy food to sustain her brain cells, working around the clock.

And Kara is happy these days, even with Astra leaving almost two months ago, she got over it thanks to the time she spends with Alex, comforting her with her presence only. Her secret, which was one for all of five minutes until she told Alex, is out in the open and she feels free and accepted.  
She worried things might get awkward between them, and they were, but it only lasted the first couple of days. After that, they both got over themselves and returned to being sisters; nothing more.

They reinstated sisters nights whenever they could, often falling asleep ten minutes in, but spend the night together like they did before.

Alex, though, doesn’t feel any lighter or any happier. If anything, she feels grumpier, and that’s saying something.  
She feels like something is tightening painfully her chest whenever she thinks of what happened what Kara a couple of months back and doesn’t understand why. Everything has been settled. Or at least, she thought so.

“So, when’s the big day ?”

She turns around with a frown at the voice and sees Lucy walking up the stairs to catch up to her.

“What ?”

And the short woman has this grin that tells her she knows something Alex seemingly doesn’t. “The big day, with Kara,” she elaborates, her grin growing wider as Alex’s eyes widen too.

The taller one clenches her jaw to recompose her expression into a carefully blank one. “What big day ?” But her voice is too mechanical and she seems too disinterested to be truthful.

“The wedding !” she finally explains with sparkly eyes, like she couldn’t be happier at the prospect. But her face falls a little as she sees Alex’s tightens with self restraint. “I’m sorry, too soon ? I just thought because you were finally together, the talk would come sooner rather than later,” she says with a grimace and realizes they stopped walking and are now standing at the top of the stairs.

Alex closes her eyes for a second while she takes a deep breath before settling with a smile; the fake one. “It’s not too soon because Kara and I aren’t together,” she calmly explain. “Why would you think that ?” And her voice is careful, like she’s afraid of the answer.

Lucy frowns then, genuinely lost. “You’re not ?”

“No !” Alex sighs loudly, apparences be damned. “Why would you think we are ?” She racks her brain for an answer, wondering if they were more intimate in front of others without realizing it but comes up empty; they’ve been the same they always have been.

“Well, we all heard Kara confess her undying love for you,” she slowly says, like it’s obvious, and Alex flushes from the neck up at the reminder. She also heard it loud and clear and she’s been paralyzed through all of Kara’s speech.

“So ?” Alex shakes her head in frustration, not understanding where all of this was coming from, why Lucy thought that, with no proof, them ending up together was this obvious. She starts walking again, trying to distance herself from Lucy and her delusion.

Lucy must be the most frustrated of them both because she throws her hands in the air while running to catch up to her and lets them fall back against her thighs with a loud _slap_ which makes Alex scowl. “ _So,_ if Kara has the same feelings you have for her, why aren’t you together ?” she asks loudly, several heads turning their way.

But Alex is too busy gaping at her to glare at them to send them on their way, eyes widening as she processes what just came out of Lucy’s mouth.

“Wha— I have _what_ now ?” She knows her voice became high-pitched and girly, just the way she doesn’t like it, but her aneurysm is keeping her from stopping this awful sound coming out of her mouth.

The second Director of the DEO must sense she said something wrong, something like a secret, because when she answers her voice is small and uncertain. “Feelings…?” she asks more than says, unsure now about the whole thing. “Don’t you…” she trails off while Alex is vigorously shaking her head no, “know ?”

And Alex stops shaking her head, taken aback by the question after all. “Know what ?”

Lucy sighs and pinch the bridge of her nose, thinking it’s too early in the day for this conversation but also too late since Kara’s confession. “Come with me,” she commands with her Director’s voice and Alex immediately complies, more than happy to slip back into her agent persona and stop this confusing conversation.

To Alex’s surprise, Lucy leads them to her lab and locks behind them and the tall woman senses the conversation isn’t over. She crosses her arms over her chest, her walls going up. “Okay, what’s going on ?” Her voice leaves no room for misinterpretation, the tone hard and serious.

“That’s what I want to ask !” surprisingly explodes the short brunette. “What are you _doing_?”

Alex recoils a little at the tone, at the words thrown at her, and she clench her hands into fists. “What are you talking about ?” she asks through gritted teeth. She’s trying not to lose her temper against one of her Director but she small woman makes it really difficult.

“I’m talking about Kara and how you love her too !”

“Of course I do !” Alex shouts back, briefly thankful she made her lab soundproof some months ago. Lucy raises both of her eyebrows and shakes her head a little in a _See ?!_ gesture, but the agent just crunches her eyes closed before reopening them. “I meant as a— a—” But she can’t find the right word, _sister_ is wrong now and even family isn’t exactly right even if technically not wrong.

The Director seems to read her mind and her voice turns soft, a big relief compared to their shouting match just a few seconds ago. “It’s not wrong,” she reassures her, hesitantly walking toward her, just to be there for her. “It’s okay for you to—”

“I don’t,” snaps Alex, eyes downcast and arms taught alongside her body, fists trembling with the strength of her tightening. “I don’t,” she says again, no more bite in her voice but resignation instead.

“Alex,” Lucy gently calls out, waiting until she looks up to continue. “You can, it’s okay. It’s _okay_ ,” she repeats. “No one will judge you, not here, and you know your friends won’t either.” She can see Alex trying to hold back tears and it’s so unusual for her to do so in front of anyone other than Kara that Lucy’s heart clench in sadness for her friend. “I don’t know what’s holding you back, but you won’t ever be alone in this. We won’t let you.”

Alex drops her head and puts her hand on he forehead, shoulders shaking as she sniffs loudly. She didn’t realize just how much she kept hidden and locked away inside, even from herself, and the acceptance and recognition from a friend just unlocked all of it.   
It was freeing and and sad at the same time.

“So—”

The door flies open suddenly and both women startle, heads snapping toward the exit. “Hey Al, I got you th—” Kara finally looks up from her phone and sees Lucy with a hand awkwardly stretched between them and Alex crying. She stops dead in her tracks, drops her phone and bag of greasy food on the floor and speeds next to her foster sister in alarm. “What’s happening ? Are you okay ? What is it ?” Before anyone has the time to answer, she turns to Lucy with a scowl. “What did you do ?” she accuses, even though she knows deep down Lucy didn’t do anything. Alex crying at work and in front of her superior would never be because of something said superior said, she wasn’t that weak, but her brain short circuited at the sight of Alex’s tears, so rare, and she lashed out.

Lucy gets ready to answer, an uncomfortable expression on her face, but Alex beats her to it. “Lucy didn’t do anything Kara,” she soothe the blonde, putting her hand on her arm. “She… helped, actually,” she says as she sends a grateful and embarrassed look to Lucy, who smiles in return.

“Oh,” she breathes out and immediately deflates, shoulders slumping in relief. “Sorry,” she sheepishly says to the Director who just waves her apology away.

“No need,” she affirms with a smile, happy Alex finally saw reason. “I’ll just…” She glances at Alex who just nods with the tiniest smile, ensuring everything was alright, and looks back at Kara, “leave you two because… wo— work to do, important Director work,” she stammers a little, grimacing at her poor lying skills and chuckles awkwardly, pointing to the door with her thumb.

She gives a last look to Alex, a _don’t-worry-we’re-all-here-for-you-so-go-for-it_ look, and vanishes as quickly as possible from the room, carefully closing the door behind her.

The blonde frowns, eyes still locked on the door. “That was weird. What’s up with her ?” she asks with confusion before looking at Alex.

And Alex full on blushes. She took a decision when Kara walked in and immediately barked at Lucy to defend her, no questions asked, so she had to stick by it. Logically speaking, she didn’t have to worry, she knew how Kara felt about her. Hell, all of the DEO knew.  
Still, it didn’t mean it wouldn’t be without consequences.   
For one, they didn’t know how they friends would react as no one talked about the whole thing since it happened, the sad look on Kara’s face enough to drive them away from the conversation.   
And Eliza… That’s who Alex was the most worried about. How was she going to react ? How far will Alex be kicked out of the family for loving her sister in a way she shouldn’t ?

Still, they couldn’t go on like this. Kara has been honest with her, even knowing how hard it was going to be and risking their relationship in the process, so Alex had to be strong too. Had to push through her fears and doubts, and focus on her love for this amazing person.

“I- Um… Well—” she chuckles loudly, the nerves getting the best of her, but steel herself and push through. “Lucy said something, and, well, it made me realize stuff,” she starts to explain, all the while avoiding Kara’s eyes.

“What stuff ?” The question is rushed out, whispered, and the voice is hesitant.

Taking a deep breath, she keeps her eyes on the floor, too much of a coward to look at Kara in the eyes while saying her part. “That it was okay to— that I should follow my feelings.” She knows it’s lame how she put it, and unclear, but she struggles pushing the rest of the words out.

“Oh ?” A beat, then “ _Oh,”_ gasped and a rustling sound, causing Alex to look up and see Kara taking a couple of steps backwards, misty-eyed and mouth turned down. “Well,” she sighs as she tries to muster a weak smile but fails, “I get it. That’s cool, Alex, really.” She tries to convince Alex as much as herself. “Oh, that’s why she was weird earlier,” she realizes with a start, eyes growing wide with worry, the tears more noticeable than ever. “I didn’t— I wouldn’t hurt her, you know that, right ?” she rushes to ask, even the thought horrifying. “Does _she_ know that ?” she wonders suddenly, hand going to her mouth in alarm, slightly shaking. “I should—” She turns around to catch up with Lucy but a hand grips hers.

“What are you talking about ?” Alex’s frown in impressive, maybe a new record, and she seems so confused that Kara thinks she might have gotten things wrong and is confused herself once again.

So she stops trying to leave and leaves her hand in Alex’s. “About… You and Lucy ?” she slowly asks to confirm. “Cause she doesn’t have to feel awkward or scared, just because I lo— I mean, I wouldn’t do anything,” she rambles a little, though it’s tamer than when she first arrived on Earth. And if Alex didn’t catch up by now, what got out of Kara’s mouth next surely did the trick. “You— You’re free to date whoever you want and—”

“Whoa, whoa,” Alex raises both of her hands in the air, like she’s trying to stop something from falling on her head, scowling so hard Kara worries she might get stuck but waits patiently for Alex to get back to being calmer and less red-faced. “Dating ?” she asks finally, voice rising at the end like it’s some horrible idea.

The blonde waits for a beat, trying to see if Alex’s just pretending, but her heartrate and face tell her she’s not. “I just thought…” She frowns. “That you were arguing or something because—” She stops talking, face matching Alex’s and drops her gaze.

“Because ?” Alex gently prompts her to continue, hands reaching to take back Kara’s.

“Because of me,” she eventually says, gaze glued to their intertwined hands like an anchor.

The brunette decides it’s time for the truth. Time to change both of their lives, and change how others see them, how Alex herself see themselves. She doesn’t know if she’s ready to change their relationship, but she know she wants to be honest and wants to figure it out with her intelligent, funny and interesting alien.

“It was.” And she seeks Kara bite her lower lip, trying to stop it from trembling, a proof she was going to start crying, so Alex rushes to keep explaining. “Because I wasn’t… honest with myself. And with you.” She waited until Kara looks up, catching her vibrant blue eyes in hers and smile; a nervous but real smile. “Kara, I… I love you.”

And Kara smiles too, a sad one. “I know,” murmurs, squeezing Alex’s hand. “Nothing has to change, you know that,” she tries to reassure her foster sister but it only frustrates her. She’s not making herself clear enough.

So she lets Kara’s hand go and grabs her face, hands on both sides of this beautiful and dorky face, and digs her fingers into her skull hard enough for Kara to register the pressure and blink in surprise. “I love you,” she repeats, more intensely. “I love you like you love me.” She feels breathless but also full of air and adrenaline; such a weird mix.

She hears Kara getting breathless too, and feels her face getting hotter by the second as she sees her blush under her hands. The blonde slowly raises her own, gently cradles Alex’s, slightly trembling, and circles her warm hands around Alex’s wrists. “What ?” she gasps, like the passed seconds didn’t exist and she just heard Alex say the words she’s been waiting to hear for weeks; for months.

Alex smiles so gently then, eyes so full of love and adoration that she has to gently wipe away the tears Kara didn’t even feel falling on her cheekbones. “I’m in love with you,” she says, voice loud and clear and face beaming. “I’m in love with you, too.”

And Kara’s face crumbles, full on sobbing and crying, tears everywhere, and feels herself being pulled against Alex’s chest. _It feels familiar,_ she muses, thinking about their moment in the Fortress of Solitude a few weeks back. “You— You do ?” she gasps between sobs, trying to breathe and talk at the same time but able to do only one of those things. “You re— really do ?”

“I do,” immediately answers Alex, softly stroking Kara’s hair in a soothing gesture. “I really do.”

There’s a loud sniff, room otherwise completely silent, and Kara straightens. “You really do ?” she asks confirmation as she looks at Alex in the eyes, searching for the truth.

So Alex smiles, smiles unrestrained and happy to have finally gotten her answer. “Yea—”

And before the entire word could be said, her lips and cheeks became hot, almost burning, but she recognizes it. It’s _Kara-hot._

She quickly returns the kiss, putting her hand over Kara’s on her own cheeks, and puts all of her love into it, barely moving her lips but conveying her emotions all of the same. And Kara’s doing the same, lips locked on Alex’s, but cradling her face like it’s the most precious in the world.  
The blonde slowly lets out a breath through her nose, like a content sigh, and Alex can’t help but smile, effectively breaking the kiss.

Kara starts to retreat but Alex grabs her by the back of the neck to keep her in place and puts their foreheads together while she tries to catch her breath. “I can’t believe you did this,” she almost gasps between two breaths.

She feels the doubt in Kara, her stiff posture and silence a clear sign, but she also feels her relax a couple of seconds later, eyes locked on hers. “Me neither,” she chuckles finally, closing her eyes and burying her face into Alex’s shoulder. Even taller, it’s still the best place to be.

“I’m glad you did,” states firmly Alex, in case there was any doubt left in Kara’s mind.

There’s none. Only love and acceptance.


End file.
